tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post1554249731076358635..comments2023-12-26T08:30:05.614+00:00Comments on A Mixed Bag: Saying Goodbye (No, not me!)Valeriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-14531186747035218732014-02-25T15:59:12.280+00:002014-02-25T15:59:12.280+00:00Mel, I am so sorry you had those early experiences...Mel, I am so sorry you had those early experiences. I know we can never make up for the past but we can make full use of the future, and you did just that (((Mel)))Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-42919585054058872432014-02-25T01:38:46.675+00:002014-02-25T01:38:46.675+00:00Boy....as a child I was 'disallowed' to tr...Boy....as a child I was 'disallowed' to trudge to the hospital with my sister because it was subzero. Seems harmless enough, but when it's the day she dies ... you grow up believing some things that probably just aren't true. I did, and I held on to those things for a very long time. And when your father dies suddenly in the garden at your family home while you were at the Melhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14408403855260279799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-8696932684880743362014-02-24T09:54:09.497+00:002014-02-24T09:54:09.497+00:00Nathaniel. I hoped that by sharing the story it wo...Nathaniel. I hoped that by sharing the story it would help others. Sharing is equivalent to healing in a lot of cases.Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-17202442284314381472014-02-24T09:51:20.376+00:002014-02-24T09:51:20.376+00:00Hi Ranita. That is sad about your brother-in-law. ...Hi Ranita. That is sad about your brother-in-law. It takes a long time to recover from these things, but I hope you have found some peace in the knowledge that he is no longer suffering. <br /><br />Lovely to see you again. It has been a long time. Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-58840783368893998302014-02-24T07:00:35.977+00:002014-02-24T07:00:35.977+00:00Dear Valerie its really sad that you were not able...Dear Valerie its really sad that you were not able to say goodbye to your dad..I can somehow connect with your feelings because I was similarly not allowed to say goodbye to my brother-in-law(my younger sister's husband)..whenever I called home everyone said that yes now he is ok, dont worry and I could never make out from a distance that he was actually suffering so hard and was about to dieRanita Sinhahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13417607648876926648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-33925512272179091502014-02-23T17:05:36.588+00:002014-02-23T17:05:36.588+00:00Your story touched on a number of feelings I have ...Your story touched on a number of feelings I have had myself, and seen in others. Sickness and death are such unexpected events that I don't think any of us are able to handle them as we expect we might, when thinking of them as things that will either never happen or will happen in some distant future that we can't possibly imagine. I never know how to react to these things, and I never Oliverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00137523010954119973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-3022622985796661522014-02-23T09:37:30.578+00:002014-02-23T09:37:30.578+00:00BC, I imagine the motive was well intentioned, nev...BC, I imagine the motive was well intentioned, nevertheless it was quite cruel. I hope the girl managed to find some peace of mind.Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-31854567211994252482014-02-23T09:34:58.395+00:002014-02-23T09:34:58.395+00:00Troutbuilder, I am so sorry to hear about your son...Troutbuilder, I am so sorry to hear about your son. I pray to God that he is at peace now and that you have been able to find some as well.Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-26684349892534315632014-02-23T00:14:27.859+00:002014-02-23T00:14:27.859+00:00Indeed. I didn't have the opportunity to be wi...Indeed. I didn't have the opportunity to be with my eldest son when he passed at the age of 27 at his own hand from the effect of bi polar disease. But then....troutbirderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14087811292280881959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-33693877182162780382014-02-22T18:13:30.962+00:002014-02-22T18:13:30.962+00:00My Cousin's daughter was visiting us many year...My Cousin's daughter was visiting us many years ago, when her father died...not unexpectedly. My cousin had her continue to stay with us rather than come home for the funeral....I am not sure her daughter ever fully forgave her for that. It is so important to be able to say good-by.katie eggemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00615362861509258088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-8246470072251292772014-02-22T10:20:45.987+00:002014-02-22T10:20:45.987+00:00Hi Geraldine. You may well be right. I haven't...Hi Geraldine. You may well be right. I haven't had that experience but I do believe there is some kind of after-life. <br /><br />Mona, I'm glad you didn't miss this post and thanks for giving permission to show your picture.Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-27197699673767224022014-02-22T10:16:39.118+00:002014-02-22T10:16:39.118+00:00Brian, I know a lot of people can't talk about...Brian, I know a lot of people can't talk about this subject... I just hope somehow my post will ease that for them.<br /><br />David, I hope I didn't raise troubled feelings, but it's good to reflect.Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-55201860590561484412014-02-22T03:59:07.326+00:002014-02-22T03:59:07.326+00:00Lovely post, Val. Glad you had a wonderful Aunt Ma...Lovely post, Val. Glad you had a wonderful Aunt May to be there for you, and sorry to hear about you not being able to say goodbye to your dad. Goodbyes are important especially if you get to do it. No one is guaranteed a tomorrow even though we act like we are. Take care.Mr. Shifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07061232966394052314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-3831413593421036602014-02-22T03:53:51.958+00:002014-02-22T03:53:51.958+00:00This is your best writing. It is just excellent. ...This is your best writing. It is just excellent. As I read it I was over whelmed with feelings of all kinds.<br /><br />No doubt many of us can relate to problems with one parent or the other, sometimes both. You told your story so well it made me think about unresolved feelings about my Mother.David Oliverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04260130060172457192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-5872252919142147142014-02-22T00:21:59.387+00:002014-02-22T00:21:59.387+00:00ugh, not getting to say goodbye...so hard...and no...ugh, not getting to say goodbye...so hard...and not fair at all...we all need those chances because mourning is so hard as it is...that would make it only worse...Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-65881827161284242152014-02-21T21:11:28.269+00:002014-02-21T21:11:28.269+00:00What a lovely and thoughtful post Val. Yes, we sho...What a lovely and thoughtful post Val. Yes, we should say farewell to our loved ones but they never really leave us. We will all be together again, in another place, some day. I know that without any doubts. I have had many interactions with those passed on, they are not gone, they are just in another place. <br /><br />Hugs to you, G<br /><br />PS: Your mum's photo is lovely!Geraldine https://www.blogger.com/profile/07410019941984295767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-5827533365998516472014-02-21T16:57:28.894+00:002014-02-21T16:57:28.894+00:00Mona, there are a lot of things missing with Blogg...Mona, there are a lot of things missing with Blogger at the moment. Thank you for allowing me to show off your picture. Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-79597529192609696032014-02-21T16:54:32.673+00:002014-02-21T16:54:32.673+00:00Ron, I didn't realise you had been unable to s...Ron, I didn't realise you had been unable to say goodbye to your biological mother and I am so pleased that you were able to do it through your Dad. I'm also pleased that you were able to visit your other Mom when she needed you. Your heart is definitely in the right place, my friend xValeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-33827364914628230252014-02-21T16:51:47.828+00:002014-02-21T16:51:47.828+00:00Wonderful post, Valerie. And I agree, it is an im...Wonderful post, Valerie. And I agree, it is an important subject. On another note, I completely missed this post, as I didn't see it show up in my reading list...just stumbled across it when I was scrolling back through posts. As to your question, you may certainly borrow the photo you asked me about - to show to your friend. And thanks for asking my permission. Montanagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16428565909247665015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-90922408370833313672014-02-21T16:31:10.597+00:002014-02-21T16:31:10.597+00:00Valerie, I can't tell you how much this post t...Valerie, I can't tell you how much this post touched me. Thank you for sharing your feelings so openly and honestly. And you expressed yourself so beautifully.<br /><br />I don't think people realize the repercussions that can occur when we are not giving the chance to say goodbye to a loved one, because there is no closure. And like you said, sometimes geographic distance makes it Ronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15977027331657615697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-43313940192269020032014-02-21T16:27:22.173+00:002014-02-21T16:27:22.173+00:00Pearl, thanks for your comment on what I consider ...Pearl, thanks for your comment on what I consider to be an important subject. Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-74329803646213076152014-02-21T13:40:48.481+00:002014-02-21T13:40:48.481+00:00It is so very important to be able to say goodbye ...It is so very important to be able to say goodbye to a loved one. I was fortunate to be able to be with both my parents when they passed and I thank God for that. xxAkelamaluhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11234268568845148285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8984234400935984998.post-79997106418635282342014-02-21T11:45:47.676+00:002014-02-21T11:45:47.676+00:00I am so glad you had your Aunty May Valerie. She ...I am so glad you had your Aunty May Valerie. She must have been a loving Aunty. Sad about not being able to visit your Dad. I can't imagine how it must have been for you. Thank you for sharing this part of your life.DeniseinVAhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08494518513936310345noreply@blogger.com