Friends

20 September 2015

WHETHER THE WEATHER BE FINE....

(Picture by byanguela,wordpress.com)
I never know what the weather forecast is because I can’t keep up with the speed-talkers on television. Usually women! By the time they've got to the end of their spiel I feel quite worn out, even breathless. Is it because they’re under time-pressure or do they always speak like that? Or is it that my brain has slowed down and won’t take it in?

I wouldn’t mind if I needed a weather forecast. I mean, I lived a long time before the instigation of complicated calculations and managed quite well just by looking out of the window and noting the appearance of the sky. We could tell by stars and temperatures if we needed raincoats or sunscreen. Even the birds were an indication of forthcoming conditions. 

What’s even worse, though, is the way modern misses act the part. Literally! There must be a condition of employment that they attend drama school. How do I know this? Well, I don’t. I’m just going by the incessant arm flourishing as they guide the way to the part of the map they want to talk about, followed by a joke or two, and a twinkling eye as they bestow huge smiles at the camera and position their bodies in seductive pose. I guess that’s to make male viewers feel good and take their minds of the weather. You don’t see the men preening and showing off. They just tell it as it is, although still complicated. Men, of course, have lower case voices so even if they do race along we can (mostly) understand them.... unlike the shrill voices of women. I’ve  got to the stage of wishing women were barred from talking about the weather.

Who are they for, these daily forecasts? Farmers must find them useful, and sailors definitely need to know, and maybe people who work outdoors but surely the latter can take the weather as it comes instead of relying on an attractive presenter on telly. People who REALLY need to know have their own source of information, I can't imagine them waiting for the six o'clock news to find out. 

Many years ago there was an old country man who could give accurate predictions purely by looking at the clouds and observing patterns of events. When interviewed he explained that he watched the sunset and if it was very red he knew the next day would be fine. He knew all about berries, which apparently were indications of forthcoming weather conditions. Holly berries, for instance, was said to indicate the severity of winter. All clever stuff if you know what to look for.

I’m not sure who started the old wives tales, one of which was ‘rain Sunday, rain Monday’ and I remember the claim that mountains ending the day shrouded by cloud meant the next day would be dry and warm. Then, of course, there’s the old saying ‘red sky at night, sailor’s delight; red sky in the morning, sailor’s warning’. A few more ancient beliefs can be found here... all good enough for folk in those days.

Technology is a wonderful thing and I’m all for it. It’s just that I can’t stand the constant pirouetting and fast and piercing voices of women presenters. Give me a man every time, no matter what the weather!!!!!

13 comments:

Michele said...

People who live in areas where hurricanes are an issue often like to know and be able to follow tropical depressions as they form, a great advantage beyond "Red sky at night" folklore. If you utilize the meteorologist in print media you can avoid all the issues of fast speech or gestures in a good, old-fashioned newspaper!

DeniseinVA said...

This post made me smile but then I thought how I much prefer using my weather app on the iPAD than the news on TV. In fact I am watching less and less TV these days. The whole world is in my iPAD :) I read an article the other day about an abundance of a certain berry, can't remember the name now, that meant we were going to have a hard winter. Let's hope not.

joeh said...

I get my weather report from the internet, but I do enjoy watching the weather ladies.

Valerie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Valerie said...

Good morning, Denise. Like you, I watch very little television; favourite programmes are watched on the iPad. It is more comfortable on my eyes and less what I call 'in your face'. I hadn't heard about the berry, but I had heard that winter would be a rough season. We can but hope the forecasters are wrong!

kden said...

Like Denise, I use my weather app more. I mean, hot is hot and cold is cold and that's pretty much all I need to know :)

Valerie said...

Hello Michelle, thanks for visiting. My comments were based on my own country. the UK, where we don't have to worry about hurricanes or worse, but I can understand the need-to-know in those areas.

troutbirder said...

No Kidding! I can take the weather babes but for the world news no thanks. Death and destruction everywhere and they're primping, fake smiling, and showing off assorted body parts. Also looking too young and brainless to know what the Middle East is in the middle of......;(

Valerie said...

TB... my sentiments EXACTLY \o/

A Cuban In London said...

I am one of those who watch and listen to the weather forecast religiously even though I have an app on my phone that predicts the weather quite accurately. :-)

Greetings from London.

Mr. Shife said...

I have found myself using a weather app on my phone a lot more than I would have imagined only because I need to know if the kiddos can play outside or if we have to figure out something else to do with the day. It does seem like the folks today make it way more complicated than it needs to be.

Geraldine said...

I've give up on weather forecasts for the most part, here in BC Canada, they are usually WRONG!!! A day tops ahead and maybe they get it right but not always. I'm sticking with my weather beetle like Granny on the Clampetts LOL!!!

Have a great week Val, just stopping in to see what's new with you. Hope you and Joe are well, G

Jenny Woolf said...

And the annoying thing is that these forecasts are really quite often wrong! I do find rain radar useful though. That tells you where the rain is right now and shows you which direction it's travelling in, and then you can make up your own mind!