Okay, I did it and I never want to do it again. Do what, I hear you ask. I am, of course, talking about photography, but not the sort of photography you thought of. Mine was an attempt by doctors to view me from the inside. It worked, so I believe, although at this stage I haven’t had the result of the investigation.
Everyone told me there was nothing to the procedure of having a camera inserted in the mouth and down the throat, though they did tell me that it would be tiny instead of my imagined camera and tripod!! They didn’t tell me how it would feel or how I would feel.
I was advised by the hospital staff to go for a local anaesthetic rather than sedation on the grounds that I would have nobody to escort me home after a bit of a sleep. This meant I was fully aware of what seemed like a great lump of steel being shoved down my throat. Swallow, the doc said, and I tried, but the blessed camera seemed to be in the way. I did my best to relax and the nurse who was holding my head and my hand kept telling me I was doing really, really well. I believed her for a while, that is until it felt like the camera was twisting round inside me.
There were lots of ‘strings’, mainly pink ones, which the doc’s assistant kept pulling away. As she did so she gave each one a number and a name. I presume it was some kind of film but I didn’t dwell on it because I was too wrapped up trying not to pass out. And then it was over, done and dusted as they say. I reckon the procedure lasted about ten minutes but I may be wrong on that score. I was forced to have a bit of a rest afterwards even though I wanted to get the hell out of there, but the nurses kept popping in to make sure I was okay. As I'll ever be, was my thought!
There's only one word for the nursing staff ... brilliant, what's more they were friendly (unlike two unfriendly ones I had the displeasure of meeting at another hospital) and full of little jokes. One of the jokes was given to me at the end of the procedure, when my head holding nurse laughed and said there would be no more today but they would have another go tomorrow … and to think I almost believed her.
Strangely enough the back pain lessened as soon as the operation was over. You should have heard me bragging to my neighbours as we sat in their house drinking tea and eating cake. The cake was homemade and gorgeous bearing in mind I’d had nothing to eat for very many hours. What a pity the pain returned to spoil the day, now it comes and goes!
It is a week since the procedure and today I tried lying on the floor to relieve the back pain. It worked - hell at first but it gradually loosened up. Now I’m thinking I should get back to the chiropractor and resume the treatment I had to stop because of the other overwhelming problem.
I await the doctor’s comments when he gets the hospital report. Will everyone please keep their fingers crossed that the news is good.