NEW DILEMMAS

I am faced with a new dilemma. Loss of memory. It’s not a permanent loss, more like forgetfulness at particular times. The business of retrieving Joe’s will has been a real trial for me for the following reason.

A few years ago Joe and I wanted to rewrite our wills and he had the idea of using the will writing service at Skipton Building Society. Those of you who don’t live in the UK won’t have heard of it but UK residents might have.

We went in for mirror wills – as they called them then. It meant that Joe and I left our estate to each other. It seemed like a good idea at the time. By that I don’t mean the act itself was wrong, it was using Skipton that was the big mistake. However, we weren’t to know that at the time.

Joe died on 20 January and as I write this on 1^st April the will is still held by Skipton even though the request for its release was sent immediately Joe died. 

The whole thing has caused memory failure for me. I didn’t realise I was losing it until I became submerged in worry and pressure. I guess at 82 (next month) I am entitled to be forgetful. I have a system that I adopted to help in the forgetfulness. I write notes, scores of them, which works most of the time. However, when pressed by worry and stress the memory goes AWOL and that is something other people don’t seem to understand. Actually, it’s not something I understand either. Sometime I shed tears of frustration when I realise I’ve forgotten something important and dealing with solicitors and legal stuff is the worst time. Pressure and things I don’t understand makes me worse. I can cope with everyday matters but the brain gives up when faced with anything new and complicated. Legal stuff, for example. Yet I can run my WI without any problems.

The worst thing is dealing with people and saying the wrong thing. Seeing the frustration on their faces is awful. Attitudes change, too. Hearing the words ‘I told you’ is particularly killing. I  

mean, how can I tell them I will remember at a later date – which is true. It’s as if a curtain is drawn over something I don’t understand and then opens when the brain is more relaxed. How frustrating is that for ME let alone other folk?

But back to the Will.

To my mind, and the minds of those with real thinking powers, there is no earthly reason why the Will cannot be released. Okay, they want £200 to do it (hints at compensation have been made) but that piece of information has only just been presented. The first excuse was that the Will was ‘lost’. Then, after I visited Skipton’s local branch, it was suddenly ‘found’ at their head office. That was a few weeks ago.

There were three people named as executors of the Will. Skipton (because they wrote it), Me, and Joe’s daughter, Rosanne. As I see it we were all of equal standing but Skipton say they need to ‘step down’ ... an action that seems to warrant a Royal Pardon. It’s only a name on a piece of paper, for God’s sake! Neither Joe nor I were told at the time of drawing up our wills that Skipton would class themselves as ‘head boy’ and demand money to step down from that position. It seems that Rosanne and I had no say in the matter. My solicitor is dealing with it but progress is extremely slow. I feel like exposing the company on the media but it would only prolong the matter. I dread to think of the solicitor’s bill when it’s all over.

I hope I haven’t bored you with this but it helped me to get something down on paper and then on the blog. Who knows, with a bit of luck an employee of Skipton might read it. Preferably their CEO. Well, just in case he does pop in for a read let me tell him that I have written a new Will - to be held by my Solicitor’s firm ... and to hell with Skipton!