This morning when I weighed myself, I got an awful fright…
For the weight that came up on the dial was certainly not right.
I’ve really had it with these scales, they’re utterly misleading,
I slid them over to the bath to get a second reading.
Again the weight that registered was ridiculously high,
I moved them back towards the loo to have another try.
The pointer stubbornly remained just under ten stone three…
I raised one foot and then breathed in, but all quite fruitlessly.
My last hope was the carpet, so I moved to softer ground,
Just to suffer more frustration … I’d gained another pound.
I’ll really have to face the fact: these scales have had their day.
They simply can’t deliver me an honest, spot-on weigh.
A brand new, high-tech digital would really be the bizz,
I need top-notch equipment now that tells it like it is.
And passing by the mirror, I catch sight of my reflection,
It’s not a picture that inspires, a more in-depth inspection,
But I am not at all perturbed by the vision that appears,
That mirror distorts everything ... it’s been like that for years.