FORGETFULNESS - OR SOMETHING!

Recently I had a visit from a guy I have known for a while but didn’t see often rarely saw. In fact, I’ve probably only seen him three times in three years!

It was Alex. Alex from a now ceased trading carpet-shop, Alex who laid the wooden flooring in the hall, Alex who laid the wooden flooring in the new shower-room. Yes, it was Alex, who I couldn’t remember. How embarrassing is that? He took it all in good part, well he could hardly do anything else, could he?

Can you imagine how awful I felt? Embarrassed isn’t adequate enough. I really wanted the earth to open and swallow me wholesale. Even his good looks didn’t help. I mean, how could I forget a handsome, good looking man with an excellent physique, nice manners and friendly,

He obviously guessed my predicament because he went on to say that he had

done some jobs for me… including fixing the central heating timer. That last should have been enough to remind me since we had such a laugh over it.

Under the pretext of closing a door to stop Charlie getting out (I don’t allow him near passing traffic) I moved away and tried to get the brain in working order. Eventually I went back to where he stood, outside, and somehow felt brave enough to confess that I didn’t remember him. Then, as I spoke, it all came back. OF COURSE, I remembered him. He was the guy who helped me when I had that fall, made me a cup of tea, and settled me down while he proceeded to do the job he came to do.

I couldn’t apologise enough and he took it in good part, or seemed to, goodness only knows what he actually thought.

The daft thing is that he had been on my mind because I needed someone to do some work for me, yet when he appears unexpectedly at my door I don’t know him. Saints preserve me and everyone else who suffers with severe forgetfulness.  That’s my worst experience so far, please God don’t let there be more!

Alex is going to fit a carpet for me, that’s if he turns up. In his shoes I would want to keep well away from someone who seems to be rather mad.

FORGOT... AGAIN!

Heard on quiz show but which I think applies to us oldies: give a wrong answer, get it out of your mind and move on, do not dwell on it. It is so easy to worry about our mistakes.

A case in mind was when I was asked the name of a certain president in the WI, I gave the answer and was immediately pounced on by others because I had got it wrong. I knew immediately that I was wrong and felt a terrible shame, but I was too slow… the pounce came before I could do anything about it. Okay, I know the others in the group had to correct my mistake and I did try to laugh it off and put the error down to my ageing brain. Actually, in a way I was right, it’s just that I had the wrong WI in mind!

However:

Coping with my mistake wasn’t that easy. My mind dwelled on the incident and the embarrassment I felt. Yes, the matter had to be corrected but the way it was done could have been better and might have prevented hours of anxiety about where my brain was going. Young(er) people don’t understand about

ageing brains. Come to that, neither do older folk!

As a matter of interest, I checked ‘forgetfulness’ online and discovered that it could be the onset of dementia and other alarming conditions that affect the mind, so I settled on the following extract, on the grounds that I am (usually) perfectly normal. I can reason things out, I can do things, I can write, I can compose, I can do jobs around the house (albeit slower than usual), I can cook, feed the cat, talk to neighbours, enjoy music, read books, and go shopping. Here’s the extract:

It's completely normal to become a little forgetful as you get older, however, it can sometimes be a symptom of something more serious, so seek medical advice if you are in any doubt.

Memory loss, also known as amnesia, is unusual forgetfulness. It may affect your ability to recall new events or to remember events in the past - or both. Memory loss can develop slowly or suddenly and may be either short term or permanent. It may involve words, phrases or thoughts only, or affect motor memory - when the ability to perform certain motor skills (movements) is lost.

Mild memory loss is usually a result of the normal ageing process while more dramatic memory loss is usually associated with trauma, such as a blow to the head or a condition, such as diabetes or dementia.

Unfortunately, ageing forgetfulness is something we have to learn to live with and can be dealt with by writing things down, keeping lists and other reminders. Spur of the moment errors are not so easy to deal with and neither is the ensuing embarrassment but we must keep smiling and looking at the positive side of life.

Valerie