And the barman says: "No, what does he look like?"
~~o~~
Do you know what's inside Aladdin's lamp?It would take a genie-us to find out!
~~o~~
~~*~~
Sign on a
maternity room door:
“Push hard.”
~~*~~
.jpg)
~~*~~
What does a magician
like to keep up his sleeve?
His arm!
His arm!
~~*~~
~~*~~
An Irishman’s been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face.
He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. “So, you’ve been out drinking again!!” “What makes you say that?” he asks as he puts on an innocent look.
“The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again.”
~~*~~
~~*~~
Sign at an
optometrist’s office:
“If you
don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
Might even suggest that notice to my optician! his place could do with cheering up
ReplyDeletehaha...the drinking problem one there in the end is funny...sending an email to your unborn...they will figure that out you know...smiles.
ReplyDelete:-)
ReplyDeleteYup--it was the drinking problem cartoon that make me smile this morning! Thanks for my Monday morning pick-me-up!
I'm smiling and chuckling. Thanks, Val!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs Valerie. I like the drinking problem one at the end.
ReplyDeleteI hope they don't figure it out, Brian. I sometimes think they've gone too far already....smiles.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome, Mel. It's good to laugh on Mondays.
When I broke my ankle years ago, I would wake up in the middle of the night, forgetting I couldn't walk and fall flat on my face. Thank the stars I don't drink.
ReplyDeleteWonderful!!! Thanks again Valerie, I do enjoy these Monday Mirths.
ReplyDeleteValerie, you did it again!
ReplyDeleteWONDERFUL Monday Mirth!
You had me CRACKIN' UP!
Especially loved the one about sending an email to your baby.
HAHAHAHAHA! Yup...it's modern times!
Happy Monday, dear lady!
X
Hi Ron, I do hope modern times don't get too clever ... grins. Imagine how a baby would feel if it experienced things like spam mail.
ReplyDeleteAnother great send off to Monday .....
ReplyDeleteThanks for the smiles and giggles !!
Great ones! I especially like the Irish one!
ReplyDeleteLiked the baby email one.they will be computer literate at birth!!! They will 'google' first not 'gurgle'.First words not 'mommy' but 'yahoo'
ReplyDelete"“The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again.”"
ReplyDeleteBWahahaha! Yeah, can you tell I loved that one? :-)
Hi Joe. Clever and witty response. Laughed a lot when I read it.
ReplyDeleteHi Herman, see what happens after a few drinks.....lol.
Hahaha, nice collection, Valerie! The Irishman made me LOL! Thank you for the laughs..
ReplyDelete