No Hiding Place

(picture courtesy of Allied Fire and Security)

Burglars must be happy now that so-called security conscious inventors have simplified the search for valuables. In order to offload newfangled devices onto the purchasing public, creators assist the opportunist thief by advertising in mail order catalogues. No longer must the intruder search for spoils when time is of the essence. No, he can plan it in the sanctuary of his own home.

Skimming through the free brochures that are delivered to our door whether we want them or not (yes, folks, I read anything!) I have seen nifty letter racks illustrated in colour, with a visual description of how they work and an accompanying text which read like this: this practical letter rack is a safe storage place for money, jewellery, keys etc, the hidden secret compartment turns the rack into a safe, making life hard for thieves and crooks.’ Great, thinks the burglar, from the confines of his easy chair.

Other clever innovations are the pseudo books, magic boxes with hidden keys (lightweight and easy to shove in a pocket and/or bag), imitation baked bean tins or soup, depending on your fancy (all used by yours truly before free brochures were thought of), fake burglar alarms, a stone for the garden under which ‘you can hide your house key’ and a coat hanger with a hidden compartment, a cumbersome object that would stand out like a sore thumb amongst ordinary hangers.

I know intruders are on the lookout for rewarding booty, stuff that can be disposed of quickly so it’s terribly convenient for him to be offered details of new hiding paces for our possessions, the diamonds for example or the keys to the Merc. With these trivial items searched and out of the way he can concentrate his high speed activities on renewing the laptops, televisions and mobile phones.

Even if he doesn’t read the brochures I reckon he’s pretty clued up on what to look for, and where, but I pray nobody purchases one of these gadgets in the hope that they will save their valuables from falling into the wrong hands.