Recycling

If it's not black backs dropping through the letterbox, it's the army of collection bins in the supermarket car park that encourage us to recycle our unwanted chattels. The charities do well out of us, rightly so, but I didn't know we'd gone as far as having Bra Bars.

Last visit to the supermarket revealed all. No, not ALL in the sense of the female body, I mean the assortment of bins.

Together with the old favourites for bottles, plastic bags, paper, cardboard, books and bulbs we have bins for clothes. Some offer to pay 50p for garments; others just want them for free. Then there are bins for shoes, providing they are tied together to make a pair, handbags, preferably empty, belts, and purses, again – empty!

And now we have the bra bar, a separate bin altogether from ordinary clothing. The more I think of this the more I wonder why, after all clothing is what they are. Why separate them?

I haven’t seen anyone use it yet but I can imagine women secreting their undies in brown paper bags so nobody can see the condition of their cast-offs (sweat marks, or those rusty wire spots left on the garment after frequent washing) then furtively removing the garment from its bag and thrusting it through the hole, sighing with relief as it drops down to join the pile of now hidden garments. Or will they gather together to compare notes as to who wears bras with the most lace or padding or wires, or who has the biggest parcel!

I wonder if this recycling facility will be used by elderly women or young nubiles? Will it encourage men to hover or ogle when the bras are placed or thrown, unwrapped, in the bins?

I suppose it will be knickers next, in a container all their own. I mean, if bras have to be divorced from coats, frocks and trousers then knickers have a right to their own bin. I foresee the addition of changing rooms in the car park, swapping new for old and dumping the unwanteds in the appropriate container. I just hope there is a provision of sufficient brown paper bags in case there’s a bit of a walk from closet to bin, with a nice watchman keeping things in order.

But, hang on, what about the men? Are underpants classed as clothing or will they get their own changing room and recycling container. I know some ladies might like to see their men recycled but I was talking about their clothes ... and visualising a queue of eager females waiting on the off chance they might see something they shouldn’t. Just as long as they don’t get recycled themselves!

Me, I’ll stick with filling black bags for the charities to collect. 

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