Titbits... and other issues

CHRISTMAS... so much to look forward to, so quickly over. Ours was lovely. It started with a phone call from Australia and a later call from my son. Joe and I had Christmas Day lunch at Moor Hall, one of our favourite hotels. We go every year because we know we’ll get brilliant food and meet some nice folk. Afterwards we came home to indulge in cake and open presents. Now I want you to listen very carefully over the next few months because I’m sure you will hear me laughing wherever you are. Why? Because I am now the proud possessor of Series 1, 2, and 3 of Mrs Brown’s Boys plus a book entitled Mrs Brown’s Family Handbook. Already I’ve learned what to do with a tea towel!!!!! 

These should keep me out of mischief for a while, don't you think?

BROADBAND

Thank goodness we have Broadband working again thus enabling me to send greetings over the Internet. It was awful not being able to get on line. It was like being deprived of a daily fix, which I guess was true. Heehee not only that but it could have meant you being deprived of Christmas gift viewing for a few days longer than necessary. Isn’t it astonishing how reliant we are on computers and other gadgets that keep us in touch with the world?

LATEST MEDICAL NEWS

Joe never misses the opportunity to crack a joke. During a recent emergency visit to hospital with a suspected infection the following took place.

We went on the advice of the district nurse who was unhappy about there being so much blood in the urine. Of course, we had to go through A & E before being referred to a ward (now well known to us) to await consultation with a man who knows about these things.

The paperwork was in front of us and it struck me that it was exactly a month since our last visit for the same thing. When I pointed this out to Joe he remarked that it was like a monthly cycle and wondered if he was changing into a woman. Stick with me on this, folks, in case he was right and I need help!

I won’t go on, except to say that as yet nothing has been cleared up. Chemo is supposed to take place on 2^nd January if the doctor will allow it. He didn’t the last time!

FINALLY – THE LATEST ON HOOVER

In the wisdom of the Correspondence Team they did not notify the engineer that nobody would be home on the Thursday, nor did they take any notice of my email in which I opted for an offered Tuesday visit ... thus when I got back home on Thursday I found a note from him to say he had called. He included a phone number in the note but it wasn’t his number ... it was one of those irritating-button-pressing responses to umpteen questions scenarios.  Fortunately the engineer had the sense to ring me to arrange another appointment. I explained about the Tuesday/Thursday mix up to which he replied that the Correspondence Team had not notified him of any change. He mentioned that he wasn’t surprised! There and then we fixed a future date and he emailed it back to CT. Pity he didn’t turn up!

Continuing the saga .......

.....of my communication with Customer Services Department at HOOVER (Read here and here if you haven't been following the plot), I decided not to reply to the email and just let the engineer come on Thursday. However, a letter has been received from the hospital making an appointment for Joe that very day. Well, we know our priorities. Joe comes first, the engineer last. I replied to Hoover accordingly, reminding CSD that I had opted for Tuesday. Anyway, I have an important meeting to attend on Thursday afternoon so CSD can put that in their pipes and smoke it, though I didn't actually tell them that. 

To take my mind of the whole thing I made some effort to cheer things up! 

Next step is to interweave Christmas cards in the garlands.

I thought putting decorations around the place might get me in the mood for Christmas.

TWO GROUSES!

NO.1. Communication with Hoover:

Further to yesterday's post 

FROM THEM

Thank you for your email.

Our technical department have advised we send an engineer.

We are able to arrange this for Tuesday or Thursday next week if this is acceptable to you.

Best Regards

MY REPLY

Thank you. I will expect the engineer on Tuesday 10 December. Please notify whether it will be a morning or afternoon visit.

FROM THEM

Good Morning,

Engineer has been booked for a morning call on Thursday 12.12.13.

Best Regards

Customer Correspondence Team

MY THOUGHTS

Can’t they READ?

Hope the engineer has more intelligence than the Customer Correspondence Team!

NO.2. Blog Rolls!

I like to visit my blogging friends as and when they publish a new post on their blogs, but isn’t it frustrating to find you've missed one or two. I rigidly follow the blog roll so that this won’t happen... but it does. Even Feedly let me down this week as well as Bloglovin’ and my own blog roll which I still haven’t got rid of. Imagine my horror when I realised I hadn’t visited one of my favourite blogs in three days simply because the reminder had gone astray. Well, I’ve found a new use for Google’s bookmark bar.... maybe that’s the answer. 

AND THE NEXT EPISODE IS........

My letter to Hoover re washing machine was acknowledged by email.

After thanking me for my letter a member of the Customer Correspondence Team expressed a willingness to send an engineer to inspect the appliance. He or she went on a bit about insurance, stating that their records showed we had a plan in place which expired in 2015. That’s news to us since Joe and I decided that after the initial twelve months guarantee we would not be taking out further insurance.

I replied, of course, in my usual semi-sarcastic vein, pointing out the misunderstanding. I repeated previously given information that an engineer came to inspect the machine in the first few days of ownership when he briefly explained the system and advised that if the machine again failed to remove water from the laundry we should 'take something out'.  I reminded them that my letter stated the whole thing to be totally unsatisfactory. 

Here’s an extract of part of the email which most of you will have read:

Whilst writing I will point out the latest catastrophe, as written on my blog:

You have to remember that the machine doesn't like odd numbers:

Two single duvet covers ... yes, I said TWO single duvet covers ... were washed but left in an exceedingly wet puddle of water at the bottom of the drum. Why? Because somehow the machine managed to insert one cover inside the other, thereby turning the load into ONE item. Now, I’ve never tried inserting one duvet cover inside the other but I can imagine how difficult it would be. My clever machine deserves some kind of medal and I know what sort of medal I would like to give it ... a heavy one at the end of a long handle commonly known as a hammer.

My reply to Hoover's email ended thus:

‘We have been buying washer/dryers for 40 years and have never experienced such problems as we do now. By all means arrange for an engineer to visit but if it is merely to repeat the advice given a year ago then we don't see the point. 

Yes, wish me luck, folks, although I don’t much care if Hoover take umbrage ... there’s always Electrolux. 

My Pet Hate

Regular readers will remember me rattling on about my new Hoover ‘Vision Dynamic’ washer/dryer and how it has a mind of its own – which doesn’t coincide with mine. At that time I wrote a letter to the manufacturers and was sure I’d blogged it until I did a post search and found nothing*. However, the original post can be seen here. Although there was an element of humour in the letter it did get across my dissatisfaction with the machine. I mentioned that I have to wash two of everything because the machine doesn’t like doing odd items and I also mentioned that this objection lasted for twelve long months. Yes, folks, I have been battling with the damn machine for just over a year so you can imagine my annoyance when reminded that insurance needs to be taken out. WHAT? ON A MACHINE THAT DOESN’T DO WHAT I WANT? A MACHINE THAT INSISTED ON DEFYING ME FOR A WHOLE YEAR? Sorry, Hoover, but NO WAY! Once this machine breaks down (please, God) out it goes. Hoover will never darken my doorstep again.

I didn’t post the letter at the time but now I have, just the other day after another major decision on the machine’s part not to drain water out of a wash that included one odd item (I really must learn to count). I should have waited for the next event before posting it. At the time of typing this rubbish report I experienced one MAJOR catastrophe in the washing stakes. Two single duvet covers ... yes, I said TWO single duvet covers ... were washed but left in an exceedingly wet puddle of water at the bottom of the drum. Why? Because somehow the machine managed to insert one cover inside the other, thereby turning the load into ONE item. Now, I’ve never tried inserting one duvet cover inside the other but I can imagine how difficult it would be. My clever machine deserves some kind of medal and I know what sort of medal I would like to give it ... a heavy one at the end of a long handle commonly known as a hammer.

The following is an extract from Curry’s (stockists of washing machines) internet site which describes the machine's technical genius

‘’Special functions include Kg mode, whereby an intelligent sensor weighs your laundry in the first four minutes of the cycle, adjusting cycle duration, water and electricity consumption to suit load capacity and perform more economically.’

It doesn’t tell us how much more electricity we have to use to put right what the machine did wrong. Since the weather precluded hanging out the sodden covers and there is nowhere within my home to enable drip-drying on such a large scale I was forced to dry the covers in the machine’s dryer which took much longer than normal. More expense, not to mention the physical and mental ordeal the whole operation took! On top of that the non-iron covers had to be ironed....

Rest assured that Hoover will know about this latest upset. Okay, now I’ve had my moan I’m off to find a hammer. Thanks for listening. 

* My 'Search this Blog' seems not to be working

HOOVER! OUR NEW WASHER DRYER.

The old washer-dryer bites the dust. I guess when it reached the age of seven it decided it had had enough, I could tell by the way it screeched when the dryer was on, as if it was grinding it’s metal teeth. I know how it felt, I was grinding my teeth as well.

That was on Sunday. Sunday afternoon Joe and I went to a Curry’s store to look at new machines. I chose one made by Hoover. We always try to buy products made by a reputable manufacturer; rightly or wrongly, if I don’t know the name I don’t trust it.

The chosen machine had all the attributes necessary for a good working model plus a few extras so we decided to buy it there and then.

‘When would you like it delivered?’ asked the salesman.

Gobsmacked, I tried to think of a date! Then I saw a notice that said We deliver products whenever YOU want them. I was about to suggest a day when the salesman said ‘Tomorrow?’

Oh heaven! No waiting to do the next wash.

We were told that the company would ring us an hour before they were due to deliver but it was also pointed out that if we looked on line we could see the delivery slots ourselves.  I checked the site first thing Monday morning, inserted the required code number, and saw the words WE’RE ON OUR WAY. The delivery slot was 6.55 to 10.55. The time then was 7am. Shortly after that, the phone rang. We’ll be there in ten minutes.

‘What?’ I cried, ‘I’m not dressed yet.’

That caused a laugh.

How wonderful that you can have a product delivered so quickly. Ordered Sunday ... in possession of new machine in a matter of hours. We told everybody about the wonderful service.

The machine was duly installed and over the next few days I used it twice. The third time... wait for it... it broke down, or so I thought. Oh, it washed okay but didn’t spin the water out. I tried another programme but the same happened, or rather didn’t happen. The problem was reported and an engineer came out to see what the problem was.

It seems the machine is programmed to override the wishes of the person using it. It is cleverly designed (presumably by a man!) to weigh up items for washing, judging that one ‘towel’ too many will stop the draining process. The machine has a ‘half load’ facility which it selects all by itself.  Clever stuff! However, if it’s that clever why can’t it just nip over to a full load wash and forget the fact that there’s one small piece too many?

Gone are the days when you shoved everything in, selected a programme, pressed a button, and waited for the machine to do the work. Now it ‘weighs up’ what you put in and woe betide you if you get it wrong. Don’t misunderstand me, it works fine, it’s just that it’s fussy about draining water from clothes when there’s a misfit in there.  

Fine. So I had a small ‘sheet’ that needed washing, one that was big enough to ‘fool the machine’, or so I thought. Actually I use the word ‘sheet’ because I don’t know what else to call a piece of lightweight candlewick that was once used as a seat cover when doggy had muddy paws.

At the end of the programme, there it was, soaking wet. Take something out, the engineer had said. Considering there was only one item in the machine I found that rather difficult. I tried something else. I tried adding a couple of towels (clean ones!!). Pressed the button and waited. Everything came out soaking wet. I took something out all right, I removed the item I was trying to wash in the first place.... the small sheet. Pressed the button and watched while the machine happily spun water out of the two towels and then proceeded to dry them. Why the hell couldn’t it do the small sheet at the same time?

I have visions of future conversations with this machine:

I’ll just add another garment.

Like hell you will.

Just one more, pretty please?

NO!

It rather looks as if I have a battle with technology. It’s either me or it, and if it thinks it’s going to dictate my life then it’s got another think coming.  I will not be beaten by a mere machine; no matter how long it takes I am DETERMINED to win over this newfangled appliance.

Finally let me record my latest attempt at success:

The load: a typical lightweight wash programme, man’s shirt, winter weight sleeveless vest and pants plus one pair of socks, and three pairs of lady’s panties. All items were washed perfectly but not spun. Upon opening the machine I found the clothes lying there – sodden.

Remembering the engineer’s advice I removed the shirt and selected the spin programme,  which worked perfectly. Afterwards I returned the shirt to the empty machine and spun it. So it seems that in this case the shirt was the culprit. Hubby now thinks he should rethink the way he dresses! Maybe he should wear more shirts so they can be washed without other garments? I’m thinking of putting a notice on the laundry bag – NO SHIRTS BY REQUEST. That should do it, don’t you think? Think of all the ironing I WON’T have to do ...so unlike my former machine that I controlled in such a way that ironing was almost non-existent.