Book Review

FIFTY SHADES DARKER

by E L JAMES

It’s a rare event for me to start a book and not finish it. Even if the story is lame I persevere because my curiosity won’t let me give up. Recently, however, I gave up on one, went back to it, then tried again. I told myself not to be stupid and get on with the story, even though it’s not my kind of book.

Sainsburys, my local supermarket, had a huge display of books by E L James on special offer: a trilogy of Fifty Shades ... Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed. It was such an impressive display that I decided to read one. Not realising at the time that it was a trilogy I selected a book ... the middle one.

I was put right by the checkout girl. ‘Is that for you?’ she asked. When I said it was she went on to inform me that I should read the first one, ‘otherwise you won’t know what it’s all about’.

Well, I’ve read books out of sequence before and have always been able to follow the storyline. A good author should be able to keep a reader up to date no matter what order the books are read.

Rather than go back and change it, I decided to carry on with the purchase.

Now I know why she smiled at me so meaningfully.

My habit is to read a chapter in the morning and another at night but reading the book at those times was, to say the least ... er ... disturbing. Having said that, I’m not sure at what time of day I could have read it without feeling ... er ... moved. There are NO sexual innuendos, what you get is the full blown thing in graphic detail and what the main characters do to each other is ... yes ...beyond belief. This isn’t just a sex book, it’s a damned instruction manual with sadism and masochism thrown in for good measure.

I’ve written some steamy stuff but I think readers would find that most actions are left to the imagination. Not so with the Fifty books. It’s fine detail or nothing. Sorry E L James but I won’t be reading the other two books. A brief glimpse in the red room of pain finished me forever. It’s positively indecent. No wonder your books are being burned in America.

The blurb on the book’s cover reads: Romantic, liberating and totally addictive, this is a novel that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

Ye Gods, I do hope not.

Interestingly there were no reviews printed on the cover or inside the book. I did read some reviews on Amazon, though, and the following two extracts are from lengthy critiques ... which everyone seemed to agree with:

1.       It is an act of sadism against the English language.

2.      Sadly, I thought the story had great potential but this seemed to be lost in page after   page of highly descriptive sex.

I wonder if the supermarket realised what the books were like? As I said, it was a huge display. Strangely enough I haven’t seen them anywhere else.  If they’re in the booksellers, they’ve been carefully hidden.

I normally give my books to the local charity shop, but not this time  ...  this one is going in the trash where it feels comfortable.