Characters:
There’s me, Lee, a lady cat. I’m the one
telling the story.
Mom and dad, my human parents.
Tom and Sukie, my best feline friends.
Woof, a visiting Persian kitten with a
daft name.
BLAME THE MOUSE!
Woof’s been here a week and it’s been
great having him around. Every day we’ve had a different adventure, one was
hunt-the-kitten when Woof decided to go walkabout through the gardens. Mom was
wild with worry and dad wasn’t much better.
It was dad who set off a search, roping
in some of the near neighbours while I was locked in the house with mom. She
had me on her lap most of the time. I tried to convey to her that Woof would be
fine, that he was an intelligent youngster who already knew his way around. If
only she could speak my language! I felt for her though, after all she was in charge of Woof and if something
awful happened she would take the blame.
Woof was found, of course, and I had to
smile when I heard where. He’d not gone very far at all; he was discovered taking
a nap in next door’s shed. From what I gathered it was Smokey who gave the game
away. Seeing him pawing at the door roused the neighbour’s curiosity. If it was
my shed I’d have looked in there first, which confirmed my suspicions that
humans aren’t always as bright as they seem. How can you conduct a search
without investigating the obvious places? I heard the neighbour say that Woof
must have climbed in through the open window and considering the height of it I
can only feel proud that he managed to get up to it at all. That’s my boy, I
thought, as I listened to the story. I think dad also felt that way.
Yesterday’s torrential rain put an end
to outside play. It was okay for me to go out but mom was worried in case Woof
caught a chill. Silly mom! It was warm rain, not that icy stuff we get in
winter. Still, we have to trust the judgement of humans sometimes!
It hit me as I stepped over the cracks
in the crazy paving, that sniffing around without Woof wasn’t much fun. I’d
been teaching him all sorts of interesting stuff, like how to aim his pee at
dad’s prize roses without getting caught on the thorns. On the serious side I
did show him how to cover his pee with soil. Swatting flies was another way of
passing time. Woof was quite good at that. I had to stop him chasing
butterflies, though, when I had to prod him out of some thistles. He’d been
looking up instead of checking where he was going. Not something a cat should
ever do. One of the best games we had was lying in the long grass pretending to
be big tigers stalking squirrels. Not that they seemed to care, they were too
busy rushing round even to notice we were there.
That’s the trouble when grass is
allowed to grow, the squirrels think it’s a playing field. Even as Woof and I
walked out after today’s siesta a couple of them were still running round in
circles. It’s anybody’s guess what game they were playing. Knowing how excited
Woof gets I held him back until the racing nutters had zipped off. I didn’t
want anything to go awry on such a magnificent day. Summer had taken ages to
arrive and I wanted nothing else but to enjoy it. Mom and dad, too. Mom said
she wanted to sunbathe in her new bikini when she came back from shopping. Dad
said he couldn’t wait to see her in it. I was certain he’d seen her in it
before but I could be mistaken. A lot of dressing and undressing goes on in our
house and I can’t keep up with everything.
Of course things went wrong when Woof
and I saw the field mouse at the bird feeder. From our hiding place behind the
rockery we watched one run up the branch the feeder was hanging from, saw him
scurry up the feeder to the top level hole where he sat on the tiny perch and
helped himself to a gourmet meal. We couldn’t catch him while he was in the
feeder but we left the rockery and waited for him to come out. Sadly, he saw us
and went up the tree instead of down. Fed up with waiting Woof decided to take
matters into his own paws. He jumped onto the same branch and waited for mouse
to come by. The idea was to catch him before he got to the feeder. I knew it
was a mistake but Woof wouldn’t listen. That’s the trouble with youngsters,
they think they know everything.
While he waited in front of the feeder,
I remained on the ground looking up. I saw the mouse coming and waved a paw to
Woof, who then got thoroughly excited. He saw the mouse and lunged forward. The
mouse scarpered and Woof tried to follow, completely forgetting they were on a
narrow bough. He fell, well slithered to start with, but then he went down
straight ... into ... the pond. Plop! Oh
dear, I sensed trouble looming.
You’d think, by dad’s prompt appearance,
that he’d been waiting for catastrophe to strike. He ran down the garden so
fast you’d think he had ants in his khaki shorts. His language was what mom
calls ripe. Unfortunately for Woof he’d fallen into the middle of the pond
which meant dad had to wade in to get him. It was that or let the little chap
drown. Woof, of course, was struggling in the water, once again bogged down by
that green weed. You should have seen him. I thought it was bad the first time
but now he looked like a slimy green monster. Bits of wood stuck to his head
looked like antlers. It was really hard not to laugh.
Needless to say I was punished. You’d
have thought I’d personally pushed Woof into the pond the way dad went on, and
on, and on. In the end I bolted up the stairs out of the way, leaving poor Woof
to undergo yet another cleansing operation. I only ventured down when it was
all over.
I dreaded to think how mom would react
when she came home. When she did, although I expected an explosion, she hardly
said a word. Even as she looked at the green mess on the floor she was grinning
at dad, saying that something was positive. Well I knew what that word meant. She told me when I
first got taken in that I was a positively lovely pussy cat. It must mean that
she’d grown to like green weed.
Well, I’m leaving them to it. One way and
another it’s been a hectic day.
Haha! Lee is terribly funny. The way she tries to interpret and describe everything around her is hilarious. And now she "talks" like she is an observant cat full of wisdom, lol! Thank you for another good laugh, Valerie. No dull moment in your stories. Can't wait for Part 8 already. :)
ReplyDeletehaha...you of course had nothing to do with him ending up in the lake....smiles....cute...really endearing ending on this part val....and fun
ReplyDelete*smiles* another great episode Valerie.
ReplyDeleteValerie, you have no idea HOW MUCH I'm enjoying this story!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are so cleverly FUNNY!
"I’d been teaching him all sorts of interesting stuff, like how to aim his pee at dad’s prize roses without getting caught on the thorns."
Bwhahahahahhaahahah!
What truly impresses me is that you have made these cat characters come ALIVE through the inner dialogue!
Honestly, I can so see this story being published into a book because they're are so many cat lovers out there who would adore it!
Meow.....X
Hi Lea, thank you. It surprises me that people find my stories humorous ... I don't ever feel as though I am being funny when I write them :O)
ReplyDeleteBrian, of course - you couldn't expect Lee to be responsible for another's actions.....grins.
Pearl, thank you.
Ron, I have to admit I enjoyed writing that bit. I am considering putting the tales in a book but it's difficult finding a publisher that will do it.
Another wonderful stuff Valerie..Lee seems too busy -I’d been teaching him all sorts of interesting stuff, like how to aim his pee at dad’s prize roses without getting caught on the thorns..:D:D:D:D
ReplyDeleteand poor chap how can he keep up with so many things - Mom said she wanted to sunbathe in her new bikini when she came back from shopping. Dad said he couldn’t wait to see her in it. I was certain he’d seen her in it before but I could be mistaken. A lot of dressing and undressing goes on in our house and I can’t keep up with everything..hahahahahahahhahahaa..its a delight reading it..
Marvelous Valerie, such a cute read. Your stories are always wonderfully entertaining.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I met a young lady from Birmingham yesterday. She was in the British shop I used to work (I still pop in occasionally) and working over here for the summer before going back home and finding a full time job. Such a lovely young lady, I wished her well as she was leaving for home soon.
HeeHee...That Lee tells a good story, very descriptive!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Reminds me our cat who loves watching the birds in the backyard. I can only imagine what trouble she would get into if she had a dog for a friend! Heh...
ReplyDeleteHi Herman, I can't see a cat/dog relationship working...grins.
ReplyDeleteHi Denise, thank you. That's interesting about the lady from 'Brum' ... Oooh I wish I'd had such a wonderful opportunity.
Hi Ranita, you make me feel so pleased that I wrote these little tales. Thank you.
Hey Val. I am back in the blogosphere. Hope I did not miss too many capers while I was away. Have a great weekend and give Lee some pets from Mr. Shife.
ReplyDelete