George
was feeding a gaggle of Canada
geese and talking reassuringly whenever one ventured to take the bread from his
hand. He obviously discounted the steady drizzle for his soft-felt hat was
squashed into the pocket of his Barber jacket. Much good will that do him,
Gentle thought, as she huddled into her paisley umbrella. Leaving the path, she
stepped across the grass to where George was shooing the geese away.
'That's
all, boys and girls,' he said, bestowing Gentle with a sheepish grin. 'Hello,
m'dear. Wasn't sure you'd wander out on such a miserable day, especially after
my discourteous exodus.'
In
spite of Gentle's determination to keep her cool, she thrust her hand in her
pocket to bring out the grey wallet. Stitches popped as she wrenched it out.
'Brilliant,'
George exclaimed. 'You found the wallet. I couldn't think what had happened to
it. Didn't realise I'd left it behind. Thought I'd lost it in the bank, but the
manager said not. At least he said no-one had handed it in.'
An
unbearable wave of disquiet circulated Gentle's internal system. There was no
question it was Gilbert Mellish's wallet; the initials confirmed it. So what
was George doing with it? George was holding out his hand, palm upwards,
waiting for her to hand it over. Idiotically, she thought how deeply-etched his
life-line was and how red the flesh embedding the shank of a gold signet ring.
'Are
you all right, m'dear?'
By
degrees, Gentle's wits returned. Indubitably, there was a lucid explanation. 'I
thought it belonged to Gilbert Mellish,' she said, offering the wallet. 'He was
... is my benefactor. There was a photograph of you. I thought ...'
George
reddened, and there was a lull so intense that Gentle thought his malady had
recurred. 'It looks as if I have been found out,' he said, and Gentle was
surprised to see him grinning. He plucked the photographs from the wallet and
leafed through until he came to the one of him. Perusing it briefly, he
inserted it behind the one of the woman and child. He pressed his lips firmly
together as though subduing an additional comment.
Gentle
was exhaustively flummoxed. She tilted the umbrella and tested the air with her
hand. The rain had stopped. A military jet streaked through the sky, observed
by children in a nearby school-yard. It was home-time for them. They knew where
their homes were. Gentle wasn't so sure. She wasn't convinced of anything any
more.
George
stowed the prints in the wallet and snapped it shut. Thoughtfully, he
contemplated Gentle as if deliberating what to say, while Gentle furled the
umbrella and endeavoured, unsuccessfully, to envisage what the eventual upshot
would be.
George
confessed: 'My real name is Gilbert Mellish. Gilbert George Mellish.'
The
stunned silence that succeeded the extraordinary pronouncement was eventually
broken by Gentle's belated gasp. Her umbrella thudded to the ground. So
dumbfounded was she that she could not speak. She simply gawked.
'I
hoped you would never find out.'
'Why?'
she whispered, meaning why did he give her the house, but George thought she
was responding to his last statement and he replied that, rightly or wrongly,
he had reckoned it in her best interests not to know.
'Come,'
he said, examining the dull sky. 'Let's take shelter before the next deluge. He
picked up the paisley umbrella, took her arm, and escorted her to the deserted
bandstand. It smelled damp. Puddles lay where rain had filtrated the punctured
tarpaulin cover. The floor was littered with sweet papers, ice cream cups, and
a pizza box. A baby's pink bootee was wedged in the rails. The perimeter bench
was cluttered with crushed Carlsberg cans and George had to dispose of them
before they could sit down.
IT WAS AT THAT DESOLATE SITE THAT GENTLE APPLEYARD'S ENTIRE
EXISTENCE WAS PULVERISED AND REBUILT, THE SCRIPT REWRITTEN WITH A CHANGE OF
CHARACTERS. IT CAME TO LIGHT THAT GILBERT GEORGE MELLISH, ALIAS GEORGE TENSING,
HAD A BIGGER ROLE TO PLAY IN GENTLE'S LIFE THAN SHE COULD EVER HAVE GUESSED.
George
had got to know Gentle's parents at a local youth club. They played table
tennis and participated in tournaments. Matilda had been the strongest player
and pretty soon outdistanced her artistic boy friend. She progressed to
champion level, but did not win a title. Her head at that time was filled with
ideas of betrothal and her concentration lapsed. She was unable to resist the
attentions of the handsome academic.
'Seems
like a hundred years, looking back,' George said.
Gentle
listened intently, unaware that she was corkscrewing her handkerchief, damp now
from continual swabbing of raindrops in her hair. She did not interrupt. She
was anxious for details of her parents' early lives, for neither had shown an
inclination to air their past. Both were unresponsive to their children's
curiosity. It was as though mortality had not commenced until they met. They
were orphans, she knew that; they met in an orphanage in Birmingham . Perhaps that was why they didn't
recount their exploits, or describe their romance, or spoke of friends,
electing to forget the lamentable events.
'We
lost touch when I went abroad,' George said. 'India . Five years, sketching the
scenery and the people. Remiss of me not to ....' He broke off as two breathless
juveniles appeared at the entrance, piloted by a heaving Alsatian puppy on a
well-chewed lead.
'Sorry,
mister,' the tallest boy said, intimidated by George's menacing glare.
'Majorette wanted a pickle.'
'Well,
take Majorette elsewhere. There's enough moisture in here without adding more.'
George winked at Gentle as the boys were led sharply away by the rumbustious
hound. 'Majorette indeed. Ridiculous name for an animal. So, where was I?'
At
Gentle's prompting, he continued his account. 'George and Matilda were married
by the time I returned,' he said, wincing as he said it. He fell silent,
hanging his head as if ashamed. 'I shouIdn't be discussing them with you.'
Gentle
urged him to go on.
'They
weren't as happy as one would have expected them to be considering how ardent
they'd been at the start of their engagement.'
Gentle
reflected on her parents' unhappiness, hearing once more the nocturnal
arguments. Separately, they portrayed as kind, tolerant, and caring parents,
leastwise to the outside world, but those characteristics could only be
attributed to her mother. At other times, one sensed the sparks waiting to
ignite. To their merit, they struggled to sustain near-normal behaviour so that
the children would not be affected, maintaining an atmosphere so harmonious
that no outsider would suspect anything was amiss. That was daytime. At night,
things went terribly wrong. That was when, in the seclusion of their own space,
their disputes ricocheted like exploding shells. That was when, converged in
gloomy recesses, Gentle and her brothers encountered the qualms of insecurity.
Notwithstanding, regardless of their trepidation and revulsion, Gentle and the
boys respected their father and adored their mother. That's why their deaths
were so painful.
With
echoes of the past occupying her mind, Gentle missed a lot of George's
nostalgic narration and by the time she tuned in he was reminiscing about the
dinner he laid on for Matilda's birthday. 'I gave her a brooch. A butterfly.
She prized it like it was a crown jewel. How radiant she looked when she opened
the box. Her hair gleamed in the candlelight. The shawl collar of her chiffon
dress encircled her throat like a soft cloud.' George moaned at the memory.
'She gave me permission to pin the butterfly to her lapel. I thought I would go
insane with affection for her.'
'Where
was this, George?'
'Why,
at home, m'dear. Tensing House.'
A
presentiment took shape in Gentle's overactive imagination, an inkling that it
was because of her mother she had been given the house. Restraining herself
from babbling, and willing now to receive whatever clarification came, she
enquired if it was on account of her mother that he entrusted the house to her.
'I
gave you the house, m'dear, to salve my conscience, because you are your
mother's child. I would have provided for her and her family if she would have
allowed it, but she dreaded the disgrace. No matter that your father's
knowledge of her disloyalty converted him to a brute, or that he beat her
unmercifully, she perceived that her children's innocence was of paramount
importance.'
Finding
the revelation distressing, Gentle twisted away and peered through the sheeting
rain. A courting couple were canoodling by a broad oak, heedless of the
inclement weather. What a pity her mother had not seen fit to turn a blind eye
to her principles, thought Gentle, wondering how she hadn't discerned that she
was a victim of domestic violence, or even that her mother had a paramour. Nor
had she grasped the worthiness of her values. Gentle wrapped her arms around
her body, swaying slightly as she embraced the dawn of understanding, and
recognized the forfeits her mother paid. She had trodden a principled path in
her denial of love and all for the sake of moral standards. Gentle challenged
her mother's prudence in enduring beatings when a man like George abided in the
wings, a man who idolised her, who would have comforted and sheltered her, and
cherished her to the end of time.
Gentle's
imagination was operating at such a pace she was losing the thread of George's
revelations and missing significant details. The picture was almost complete,
but she needed to backtrack, to the year her mother's birthday was celebrated
in Tensing House. She swung round and asked. 'When was the birthday dinner? Was
it long before she died?' She was thinking about poor baby Caroline.'
'Oh
no, m'dear. It was forty-four years ago. The year before you were born.'
Confounded
by the startling announcement and totally unprepared for its implication,
Gentle was devoid of rational speech. She could only gape in astonishment.
She'd had the notion that Caroline was his daughter, instead it seemed...
Gentle swallowed. This was a new slant. It suggested that her creation was due
to him and not the man who raised her. An echo of shouted words ascended from
the past, when she and her brothers were sheltering in the dark, quietly
querying what their father meant when he labelled their mother a whore, and why
he was ordering her to pack her bags and go to her fancy man. And mother,
exhausted by the years of bickering, insisting she would not leave the kids;
and father, refusing to let them go. And the subsequent screams, their father
bellowing, for some strange reason, his own name: George. Bloody George.
Gradually,
as recollection faded, Gentle returned to consciousness. George was indulgently
contemplating her.
'Are
you telling me…'
'Yes,
m'dear.'
'You
are ... my father?'
'Yes,
m'dear.'
That
night, while sipping a beaker of hot chocolate, George's leather-bound
chronicles abandoned beside her on a mulberry chaise longue, Gentle finally
admitted that, subconsciously, she had known from their first meeting that they
were related. The fire was ebbing, the last fragment of charred timber ready to
cave-in. Great-grandfather Mellish smiled benevolently from his gilt frame. The
clock intruded on the quietness, its minute finger thumping around the hour,
interrupted periodically by a faltering blip on the six. As an accompaniment,
someone's car alarm rang out. The lounge was lit by a single lamp, ample to
read by without disturbing George, who was dozing in the fireside chair. A
velvet cushion supported his head. She had covered his knees with a tartan
travel rug in case his slumbers deepened. He was worn out and no wonder, having
borne the burden of confession that should have been endured by her mother.
Gentle had begged him to stay, and they laughed when she did. Enjoining a man
to stay in his own house had seemed hilarious. He had a singular sense of
humour. He didn't deserve to have been so unfairly rejected.
Noiselessly,
she slithered from her seat and kneeled alongside him, reaching up to stroke
the edge of his beard. A whit more silky growth and he could play the part of
Saint Nick and deliver gifts at Christmas. But his gift to her, the gift of
belonging, could never be equalled or accepted so emotionally. Gentle searched
his countenance, scanning the laughter lines and the minor imperfections: liver
spots and a tiny scar on his brow. The affinity was so strong, so vibrant, it
was surprising he didn't wake and catch her out.
She
was thrilled with him. It was as if the other George, her pseudo Dad, had not
existed. She wished her brothers could have known him. They, like her, would
not have deduced that he had sired the entire Appleyard stock. What would they
have said if they had known? Peter, the noisy one, often conceded his disgust
for their father's arguing and yelling, sometimes mimicking the seething rages
so well that Gentle fretted they could become immutable. Graham was a mystery, quiet and uncomplaining. Outwardly reacting as if the situation was ordinary
family conduct, except that Gentle habitually heard him crying in the confines
of his room. Caroline, poor mite, hadn't had the chance to learn any of it.
Returning
to her seat, Gentle cupped her beaker and sipped the chocolate, letting the
steam drift up her face. She lowered her eyelids and mused about her family,
whose ghosts had taken alternative identities. Mother: a sweetheart and a
mistress; siblings: all bastards; and father: a barbarous impostor. Primarily,
Gentle understood his attitude. He must have thought the assaults were
justified even though, according to George, the marriage was never consummated.
Equally, she appreciated that her mother's frustration had driven her into
George's arms. That she worshipped him there was no doubt, she had gleaned that
from George's diaries, each entry infused with elements of rapture and delight,
passion and enchantment, and the melodrama that accompanied each welcome birth -
barring Caroline who died with her mother, she, too, a victim of George
Appleyard's brutality.
Gentle
drained the last mouthful of chocolate and selected another diary. The only one
in white leather. Raising the cover, she saw more photographs of her grandparents
and George in his knickerbockers. There was also a duplicate portrayal of the
woman and child. She extricated it from the protective film and turned it over.
A dedication was penned in black ink. At the foot, a squiggly arrow had been
inserted to draw attention to a block of kisses the size of a postage stamp,
below which was written: To dearest Bertie, with all our love, Matilda and
Gentle. The date was Gentle's first birthday. With tears in her eyes, she
looked at George and saw that he had stirred. He was smiling, and his smile
depicted a contented soul, personifying a man who had, at last, achieved his
rightful place in his daughter's heart.
THE END
lovely lovely blog!!
ReplyDeleteaww what a heart warming ending a family coming back together is a beautiful thing...smiles...
ReplyDeletethankful for you today...smiles.
Thank you Selene. I'm very pleased to meet you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Brian. I hope you're having a great day. Yes, methinks the story's end was fitting for today.
ReplyDeleteOh I loved it Valerie. A splendid ending!
ReplyDelete