This made me laugh....

Sent by email, thanks Pat!

 

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and
funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.

A crowded United Airlines flight was cancelled.

A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers.

Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed.

He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.

"May I have your attention, please?" she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.

"We have a passenger here at Gate 14 who does not know who he is.  If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14." 

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!" Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get in line for that, too."

PS .... although I don't like the use of the F word, I still found this funny!
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Funny!

THE KEY TO THE SITUATION

Robbie was drunk! Quite impossibly so.

And he stood with his key in his hand.

Then he looked for the key-hole and found it was there!

He'd found his way home as he'd planned.

But the key wouldn't fit or the hole was too small!

He was mumbling and fumbling away

When Constable Smith who was out on patrol

Just happened to come round that way.

Robbie looked quite suspicious, of that there's no doubt,

With his brain full of holes like a sieve,

And Constable Smith spoke quite firmly to him.....

'Are you certain it's here that you live?'

'Of course I live here! Have a go with my key

And you'll see for yourself that it fits!'

Said Robbie, who though he was feeling quite rough,

Was still in control of his wits.

Sure enough when the Constable tried-out the key

It fitted the door to perfection.

So 'Come in!' said Robbie, quite pleased with himself,

'I'm sure that you'd like an inspection!

See, this is my table, and this is my chair;

My kitchen is just through that door!

That photo up there is my old Auntie Flo.

And, upstairs, I can show you much more!'

When they got to the bedroom the policeman exclaimed

'Well, Robbie, now who might that be

In bed with your wife?' Robbie thought for a bit

And said 'Well I never! It's ME!'

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