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| (Picture by byanguela,wordpress.com) |
I wouldn’t mind if I needed
a weather forecast. I mean, I lived a long time before the instigation of
complicated calculations and managed quite well just by looking out of the window
and noting the appearance of the sky. We could tell by stars and temperatures
if we needed raincoats or sunscreen. Even the birds were an indication of
forthcoming conditions.
What’s even worse, though, is the way modern misses act the
part. Literally! There must be a condition of employment that they attend drama
school. How do I know this? Well, I don’t. I’m just going by the incessant arm
flourishing as they guide the way to the part of the map they want to talk
about, followed by a joke or two, and a twinkling eye as they bestow huge
smiles at the camera and position their bodies in seductive pose. I guess
that’s to make male viewers feel good and take their minds of the weather. You
don’t see the men preening and showing off. They just tell it as it is,
although still complicated. Men, of course, have lower case voices so even if
they do race along we can (mostly) understand them.... unlike the shrill voices
of women. I’ve got to the stage of
wishing women were barred from talking about the weather.
Who are they for, these daily forecasts? Farmers must find them
useful, and sailors definitely need to know, and maybe people who work outdoors
but surely the latter can take the weather as it comes instead of relying on an
attractive presenter on telly. People who REALLY need to know have their own source of information, I can't imagine them waiting for the six o'clock news to find out.
Many years ago there was an old country man who could give accurate predictions purely by looking at the clouds and observing patterns
of events. When interviewed he explained that he watched the sunset and if it
was very red he knew the next day would be fine. He knew all about berries,
which apparently were indications of forthcoming weather conditions. Holly
berries, for instance, was said to indicate the severity of winter. All clever
stuff if you know what to look for.
I’m not sure who started the old wives tales, one of which was
‘rain Sunday, rain Monday’ and I remember the claim that mountains ending the
day shrouded by cloud meant the next day would be dry and warm. Then, of course,
there’s the old saying ‘red sky at night, sailor’s delight; red sky in the
morning, sailor’s warning’. A few more ancient beliefs can be found here... all good enough for folk in those
days.
Technology is a wonderful thing and I’m all for it. It’s
just that I can’t stand the constant pirouetting and fast and piercing voices of
women presenters. Give me a man every time, no matter what the weather!!!!!
