This would be funnier if it wasn't so true. Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you...
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere
04. People call at PM and ask, Did I wake you?
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way
07. Things you buy now won't wear out
08. You can eat supper at PM
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room
13. You sing along with elevator music
14. Your eyes won't get much worse
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size
19. You can't remember who sent you this list
20. AND YOU NOTICE THIS IS IN BIG PRINT FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE
Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night