The Phantom Ball Snatcher

Charlie - sunbathing

When pussycat arrived he was bombarded with toys, gifts from friends, neighbours and, of course, me. Some he liked, some he didn’t touch. Balls were his favourite playthings and I loved rolling them for him to chase after. But he always lost them. Truly lost. Cleaners and I have hunted every room in the house but can’t find them. 

I can see them now... one small red ball that had a flashing light inside, a fair sized furry green ball that had come loose from his scratching post, and a black one detached from a scratching play thingy, one he could get inside.

But the latest loss is a real life tennis ball which is an aid to killing pain in the bum. Seriously! Years ago a chiropractor recommended using a hard ball to kill a particular pain so Joe bought a pack of three yellow tennis balls. It did the trick and the balls were put away in a kitchen drawer for possible future use.

'yellow' ball

That time has now arrived.

The idea is to sit on the ball which has been strategically placed at the point of pain. It hurts but strangely enough it’s a nice hurt – if there is such a thing – and it works. Last night I sat on the ball until it ‘worked the pain’ and I almost forgot it was there. Then it was bedtime so I put the ball away ..... somewhere. Yes, another ball bites the dust!

I have searched every conceivable place where a ball might have rolled or been put but no joy. Every drawer in the house has been ransacked. The other two balls that Joe bought are where they should be and I would have thought I’d have put the one now in use in the same place. No!

the black thingy that
is scratching post and hidey-hole

All furniture, cupboards and pockets have been searched. Nothing! So it rather looks as if the phantom ball snatcher has been at work.

Dear phantom ball snatcher

Please note, I shall be using one of the other yellow balls for the purpose of killing pain, so if you have the audacity to steal that as well I promise there will be trouble.

Yours, frustratedly

PS ... and if you think I don’t know your real identity you are sadly mistaken.

The only bright side to the missing ball problem is that I don’t need it now. Chiropractor has diagnosed my problem as sciatica and the ball would only exacerbate the pain. Under these circumstances I forgive Charlie for losing the balls. However, I shall keep the remaining two balls safe in a drawer so that neither of us can lose them.