FIFTY SHADES DARKER
by E L JAMES
It’s a rare event for me to start a book and not finish it.
Even if the story is lame I persevere because my curiosity won’t let me give
up. Recently, however, I gave up on one, went back to it, then tried again. I
told myself not to be stupid and get on with the story, even though it’s not my
kind of book.
Sainsburys, my local supermarket, had a huge display of
books by E L James on special offer: a trilogy of Fifty Shades ... Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades
Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed. It was such an impressive display that I
decided to read one. Not realising at the time that it was a trilogy I selected
a book ... the middle one.
I was put right by the checkout girl. ‘Is that for you?’ she
asked. When I said it was she went on to inform me that I should read the first
one, ‘otherwise you won’t know what it’s all about’.
Well, I’ve read books out of sequence before and have always
been able to follow the storyline. A good author should be able to keep a
reader up to date no matter what order the books are read.
Rather than go back and change it, I decided to carry on
with the purchase.
Now I know why she smiled at me so meaningfully.
My habit is to read a chapter in the morning and another at
night but reading the book at those times was, to say the least ... er ...
disturbing. Having said that, I’m not sure at what time of day I could have
read it without feeling ... er ... moved. There are NO sexual innuendos, what
you get is the full blown thing in graphic detail and what the main characters
do to each other is ... yes ...beyond belief. This isn’t just a sex book, it’s
a damned instruction manual with sadism and masochism thrown in for good
measure.
I’ve written some steamy stuff but I think readers would
find that most actions are left to the imagination. Not so with the Fifty
books. It’s fine detail or nothing. Sorry E L James but I won’t be reading the
other two books. A brief glimpse in the red room of pain finished me forever.
It’s positively indecent. No wonder your books are being burned in America.
The blurb on the book’s cover reads: Romantic, liberating and totally addictive, this is a novel that will
obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.
Ye Gods, I do hope not.
Interestingly there were no reviews printed on the cover or
inside the book. I did read some reviews on Amazon, though, and the following
two extracts are from lengthy critiques ... which everyone seemed to agree
with:
1.
It is an act of sadism
against the English language.
2.
Sadly,
I thought the story had great potential but this seemed to be lost in page
after page of highly descriptive sex.
I wonder if the supermarket realised what the books were
like? As I said, it was a huge display. Strangely enough I haven’t seen them
anywhere else. If they’re in the
booksellers, they’ve been carefully hidden.
I normally give my books to the local charity shop, but not
this time ... this one is going in the trash where it feels
comfortable.
