Eating out...

My recent lunch date with Judy was hilarious. We went to a place we hadn’t been to before and probably won’t go to again. The Hungry Horse was very quiet when we walked in, practically deserted. Judy commented to the bar staff that it was unusual to see so many empty tables and received the explanation that a party was booked. A party of people won’t worry us, I remarked, as we chose where to sit. As always we wanted to be away from the bar in a secluded section. It is our policy to get as far away from crowds as possible, not that we don't like people but in a bar they are mostly noisy and do tend to crowd the area. 

The menu was huge and ordinary. Nothing fancy and nothing fanciable, so we both chose fish and chips. Well, you can’t go wrong with fish and chips. Right? Wrong! 

It was one of those places where cutlery is stacked in a neat container for you to help yourself. The first two knives still bore remnants of food which is extremely off-putting when you sit down to a meal. The forks weren’t too bad but by this time I wondered if they too had missed out on a good wash. The waitress apologised profusely and hastily brought replacements. Since we were miles away from another eating place we stayed put and hoped for the best.

Many years ago I loved to eat chips straight from the paper but not these days and especially not in a pub sitting at a table. As you can see by the picture, the meal was served on a sheet of newspaper, on a plate. If I'd had any sense I would have removed the paper but I honestly thought there would be grease-proof paper to sop up the ... er ... grease. Have you ever eaten greasy newspaper?

The fish and chips were what I call ordinary and tasteless. The chips weren’t too bad, the fish was tasty but the batter wasn’t. I didn’t even bother to taste the peas because of their colour. We hadn’t been eating for long when the music started. Full blast and I do mean FULL BLAST. We couldn’t hear ourselves speak because of the row. Judy grabbed the first member of staff she saw and asked them to turn the sound down. That’s when we learned that the party was for children. Honestly, lunchtime in a pub and they were having a kid’s party!

The sound was reduced ever so slightly then it stopped, then started, then stopped. I

thought the record player or whatever had gone wrong but Judy was sharper than me. ‘Kids’ party games,’ she said. In a pub? A place where people pop in for a lunch break, hoping for an hour of peace and quiet away from the hullabaloo of their workplace. 

We went through a programme of songs, from Old McDonald had a Farm to Oranges and Lemons and Five Little Ducks, and a stop-start game to the tune of There was an Old Woman who lived in a Shoe. Judy knew all the words! Some folk walked out, others joined in the singing. It takes all sorts!

So that’s, my account of this month’s dinner date with Judy. What fun! I have a feeling we won’t be going there again.