Friends

22 June 2012

Let's have a laugh

The weather is so awful, wet, wet, wet, and so dark it seems like it's still night. I'm beginning to wonder what happened to 'flaming' June. Honestly it is so depressing I'm resorting to a few jokes to make me smile. 

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' 

The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'


A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. 
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'


'This woman, is she good looking?'

'Not really.' 
'Is she a good cook?' 
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 
'I don't know.' 
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?' 
'Because she can still drive!'


9 comments:

Brian Miller said...

smiles....hey anything to get you to smiles...its smoking hot here...so for me a nice breeze would not be bad...

Akelamalu said...

I so agree about the weather Valerie but thanks for the chuckles m'deario. x

Ron said...

OMG...these are ALL so hilarious, Valerie!!!!!

"The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'

Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!!! CRACKED ME UP!

Thanks for the great Friday giggles, dear lady!

And same here, lots of rain AND heat. Yesterday it reached 100 degrees!

Have a great weekend!

X

Valerie said...

Ron, that was my favourite... I laugh every time I read it. Oh boy, I would give anything to experience 100 degrees!!!

Valerie said...

We could swap locations, Brian, then both of us would be pleased.

And there seems no end to it, Pearl. I feel sorry for those playing at Wimbledon.

Mr. Shife said...

I saw that weather forecast and do not envy you at all. Hopefully it clears up soon. Thank you for the chuckles. At least England is doing well in Euro 2012? Does that help things out? Or do you not care for football? Take care, Val.

faye said...

those are all great...
especially the last one...

Rain here also... a nice change
from our drought conditions.

Happy weekend !!

Bernie said...

OMG Val, these are great. Sorry about your weather, my brother in-law was telling me it was miserable weather in Scotland as well. Thanks for the laugh, have a great weekend, xo

CrystalChick said...

Haha!! They are very funny.

Even though it rained buckets last night, we've had some really hot days lately. Our a/c is trying so hard to keep up. It's going on 9 pm and it's still in the low
'80's here.

Hope you get some dry, sunny days soon!