Friends

24 September 2012

Monday Mirth

Torrential rain here today and again tomorrow. Woke this morning to a leak in the kitchen ceiling and a flood on the floor. Roof only recently fixed so we have yet to find out how the rain is getting in. Maybe this Monday Mirth will cheer me up.


A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy," she tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me".
The blonde says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
 


Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really annoyed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday




Factory Workers
In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.

Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous..or what?"

"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."


oOo

A teacher was giving her class a lesson in logic.
 ‘Here is the situation,’ she said.
 ‘A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of the river. He loses his balance, falls in and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?’
A girl raises her hand and asked, ‘To draw out all his savings?’



18 comments:

Brian Miller said...

oh, sorry on the leak and hope it does not make too much of a mess....thanks for the chuckles val...and hope as well the monday gets better from here...

Akelamalu said...

Lousy weather isn't it Valerie? Thanks for cheering me up with the jokes. :)

Valerie said...

Lousy is the perfect word to describe the weather, Pearl. Glad I gave you something to laugh at :O)

Ron said...

Once again, Valerie, your Monday Mirth did not fail to give me HUGE laughs!

That video clip was BEYOND hilarious!!

And I loved "Life Before The Computer." Brilliant!

Hope all goes well with your roof. We had a bit of rain last week too. In fact, we had tornado warnings.

Have a super Monday, dear lady!

X

Valerie said...

OMG Ron, a tornado warning... and I thought we had it bad. I wouldn't mind the rain so much if it wasn't for the leak!

Pat said...

Some good ones today! Although the fake spray painting could have caused more problems than it was worth! At least here in the States, anyway!

Mel said...

*laughing* I loved the Bob joke.
And I found great truth in the HAVE A MEETING poster. *sigh*
And I have three of those darn things tomorrow....oy.....LOL

faye said...

What a fantastic assortment
for Monday Mirth ...

love the jokes... sorry that your
weather is not as picture perfect as it was here today... but then we had storms all last week.

Happy Monday !!

Don't unplug your hub. said...

Very enjoyable Valerie. I have pinched the computer one to put on FB.

Gill - That British Woman said...

hopefully things will dry up for you soon. Loved the jokes especially the first one.

Gill

HermanTurnip said...

"a brand new bathroom scale."

Oh....man, that's bad. Bwahahaha! Ah, thanks for the laugh. I feel so much better now after that. Whew!

Jimmy said...

I so loved the video of the kids painting the graffiti, that was so hilarious.

Has poor old Bob turned up as of yet Ha Ha

Valerie said...

Thanks Brian. Actually the ceiling is in more of a mess than the floor.

Hi Herman. That was my favourite joke, no wonder he wasn't seen again... I would've killed him lol.

Heehee Jimmy, not to my knowledge. He's wiser to stay away, don't you think :O)

Valerie said...

I thought the video was American, Pat...lol... leastways our cars have their steering wheels on the right hand side.

Lea said...

This is so funny! :)

Ranita Sinha said...

Net connection is pathetic..could not open the video..but liked the rest..could not stop laughing..your Monday mirth always make me laugh my heart out..

Star said...

So sorry to hear about the leak and flood Valerie. Must be awful. I've had a flood and I don't want another one. I enjoyed the funnies very much today.

Valerie said...

Thanks, Lea, and thank you for all your lovely comments.

Ranita, sorry you couldn't open the video. It happens to the best of us. There are some US ones that I can't open.