When a blonde woman's dog goes missing, she is frantic.
Her husband says, "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
She does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" her husband asks.
"Here boy!" she replies.
Her husband says, "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
She does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" her husband asks.
"Here boy!" she replies.
More of Michael McIntyre
Light travels more quickly than sound,
which is why some people appear to be bright until you finally hear them speak.
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it, and another to change it back again.
Two blondes find three
hand grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
and finally
One beautiful Sunday morning, the priest announced to his congregation: 'My good people. I have here in my hands three sermons .. a £100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a £50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a £10 sermon that lasts a full hour. Now, we'll take a collection and see which one you have chosen.
Thanks Valerie. That has cheered me up. Not that I was miserable in the first place you understand, but I am happier than I was, even though I was happy anyway. Oh let's just say I am happier now than I already was before looking at your blog.
ReplyDeleteHave a good week.
haha...you are a trip...the blondes with the hand grenades...the tooth brush complaining to the TP...this one just kept coming...smiles....have a wonderful monday val
ReplyDeleteJohn. So you came by ... glad to see you're happier now.
ReplyDeleteBrian, I quite liked the toothbrush one.. actually made me LOL.
From the very beginning until the last part of the post, I was smiling! :)
ReplyDeleteHahahaha.....briliant way to start the work week, ma'am.
ReplyDeleteI'll introduce myself to the toilet paper and toothbrush and tell 'em my woes. LOL
Happy Monday to you, ma'am.
HaHa! I'm definitely chuckling. Love the Sermon joke.
ReplyDeleteValerie, everyONE of these had me rolling on the floor; laughing!
ReplyDeleteI think my favorite one was the little old lady in the computer store. BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, the video on reading glasses was STELLAR!
Thanks again for the great Monday Mirth. I so enjoy these!
Have a marvi Monday!
X
Hi Ron, I'm glad you pointed out the woman in the computer store.... I thought it was a man. Really must get my specs changed lol.
ReplyDelete"We'll lie and say we only found two."
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness Thank You for the laughs :^)
Hey I needed sone laughs right now. I really like the variety and the high degree of funny that you selected.
ReplyDeleteSmiling all the way..but loved the one on love and marriage..
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure, Jimmy.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ranita.
Thanks for popping in to my Monday Mirth, Larry.
Always like a good laugh. These were very enjoyable. Thanks for spreading joy!
ReplyDelete