Friends

17 September 2012

Monday Mirth


When a blonde woman's dog goes missing, she is frantic.
Her husband says, "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
She does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" her husband asks.
"Here boy!" she replies.
 

More of Michael McIntyre



Light travels more quickly than sound, 
which is why some people appear to be bright until you finally hear them speak.


How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it, and another to change it back again.


Two blondes find three hand grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two." 

and finally

One beautiful Sunday morning, the priest announced to his congregation: 'My good people. I have here in my hands three sermons .. a £100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a £50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a £10 sermon that lasts a full hour. Now, we'll take a collection and see which one you have chosen. 


13 comments:

Don't unplug your hub. said...

Thanks Valerie. That has cheered me up. Not that I was miserable in the first place you understand, but I am happier than I was, even though I was happy anyway. Oh let's just say I am happier now than I already was before looking at your blog.
Have a good week.

Brian Miller said...

haha...you are a trip...the blondes with the hand grenades...the tooth brush complaining to the TP...this one just kept coming...smiles....have a wonderful monday val

Valerie said...

John. So you came by ... glad to see you're happier now.

Brian, I quite liked the toothbrush one.. actually made me LOL.

Lea said...

From the very beginning until the last part of the post, I was smiling! :)

Mel said...

Hahahaha.....briliant way to start the work week, ma'am.
I'll introduce myself to the toilet paper and toothbrush and tell 'em my woes. LOL

Happy Monday to you, ma'am.

Montanagirl said...

HaHa! I'm definitely chuckling. Love the Sermon joke.

Ron said...

Valerie, everyONE of these had me rolling on the floor; laughing!

I think my favorite one was the little old lady in the computer store. BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, the video on reading glasses was STELLAR!

Thanks again for the great Monday Mirth. I so enjoy these!

Have a marvi Monday!

X

Valerie said...

Hi Ron, I'm glad you pointed out the woman in the computer store.... I thought it was a man. Really must get my specs changed lol.

Jimmy said...

"We'll lie and say we only found two."

Oh my goodness Thank You for the laughs :^)

L. D. Burgus said...

Hey I needed sone laughs right now. I really like the variety and the high degree of funny that you selected.

Ranita Sinha said...

Smiling all the way..but loved the one on love and marriage..

Valerie said...

My pleasure, Jimmy.

Thanks, Ranita.

Thanks for popping in to my Monday Mirth, Larry.

CrystalChick said...

Always like a good laugh. These were very enjoyable. Thanks for spreading joy!