10 September 2012

Monday Mirth

Meet Jo Brand

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone
"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", he shouts, "this is her husband!" 

David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skilfully mounts the horse and appears incomplete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace, Victoria admiringly watching her husband.

After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse round the neck shouting for it to stop. Victoria starts to scream and shouts for someone to help her husband. David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horse's neck.

David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!! 

Hearing her screams, the Tesco Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse!


Brian Miller said...

hehehe unplugs the horse.....oh my....happy monday val

Mel said...


I'm with her on the **** it, that'll do!

Ah....another smiling start to Monday courtesy of YOU. :-)

Ron said...

Valerie, every ONE of these jokes was HILARIOUS!

I just about died laughing when she said, "So I took up smoking again!"



Love the cartoon too!!!!

Thanks for the awesome Monday Mirth, dear lady. I always look forward to these posts!


Valerie said...

Brian, for me the horse joke was so unexpected I roared with laughter.

Mel, glad I made you smile :o)

Ron, that was the line I liked. Sometimes Jo Brand can be very crude and I did wonder if I should include one of her vids.

faye said...

Lots of giggles and snorts
for this Monday...

Thanks Val. !!

septembermom said...

So funny! I miss visiting you!!! I love the Beckham one. Brilliant! Thank you for these giggles.

L. D. Burgus said...

Too Funny!!!! Thanks, I needed that.

Jenny Woolf said...

I didn't see that punchline about the horse coming at all!

HermanTurnip said...

"Unplugs the horse" OH man....great one! Thanks for the laugh, Val! I really needed that after a long trail run.

Pat said...

I love that comedian - she's funny!

Ranita Sinha said...