Friends

10 December 2012

Monday Mirth




Sign in the front yard of a funeral home: 
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”



One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asks the barber about his bill. “I’m sorry, I can’t accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.” The florist is pleased and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there’s a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.

Later that day a cop comes in for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber, and the barber replies: “I’m sorry, I can’t accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.” The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door.

Later that day a Democrat comes for a haircut and when he asks the barber what he owes, the barber replies: “I’m sorry, I can’t accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.” The Democrat is very happy and leaves. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there are a dozen Democrats waiting at his door.


In a veterinarian’s waiting room: 
“Be back in 5 minutes. 
Sit! Stay!”


A man with toothache went to the dentist. ‘I have a huge cavity,’ he said.
The dentist, seeing only a moderate amount of decay assured him that it would only be a small filling.
‘But why does it feel so large,’ asked the patient.
Dentist replied, ‘Just a natural tendency of the tongue to exaggerate, I guess’.


15 comments:

  1. haha on that last bit...is paris even still around? havent heard from her in a while...i like the vets sign too...lol

    happy monday

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah yes--it's good to laugh on a Monday morning. I love that first cartoon--mostly cuz I start to feel bad for the turkeys this time of year. ;-)

    Have an awesome Monday, ma'am!

    ReplyDelete
  3. HaHa--Chuckle, Chuckle. Loved the Paris Hilton quote!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have my morning laugh, I checked you out first.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't know if she's still around, Brian, and yes I liked the vet's sign. It appealed to my sense of humour.

    Know what you mean, Mel. I feel for the turkeys, that's why we never have one.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Valerie, you had me GIGGLING at everyone of these!!!!

    "Sign in the front yard of a funeral home:

    “Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

    HILARIOUS!!!!

    Also, I love the vet sign!!!!!!

    Thanks for the awesome Monday Mirth, dear lady. I always look forward to these posts!!!

    X

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Ron, heehee shouldn't you be at work? Glad you found time to pop in for a giggle or two. Have a good day.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like the Paris Hilton quote. Enjoyed the jokes immensely!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Very funny Valerie. I enjoyed all of those.
    My favourite is the one 'A woman should have four pets in her bed.'

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your post has a little of everything or should I say, something for everyone. Enjoyed reading and laughing through it. Blessings

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lovely!!! Thanks Valerie, always a great read at any time of the day. I leave with a smile :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Moo! Moo! Bwahaha! That's great! I'm laughing as I type this :-)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Good to hear you laughing, Herman....grins.

    Hello Betty, and welcome to my blog. I'm so pleased you enjoyed these few jokes.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Amusing as usual, Valerie, although I must say I don't think Paris Hilton was smart enough to make that comment :D

    ReplyDelete
  15. Vet's sit, stay sign is my champion! Lol!

    ReplyDelete

If you're new to A Mixed Bag you might find something to interest you, a bit of mirth, a story or two, or some pictures. I'm so pleased you popped in, do leave a comment if you have time.