16 July 2012

Monday Mirth

104 year-old woman

A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.

She thought for a few moments then simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

You're never too old to look stupid

Dead or alive 

Peter was not feeling well, bad enough that his wife Sharon had to go and get the test results from the doctor. 

'Now Sharon, I don't exactly know what is the problem is. Peter may even die if he doesn't get the right treatment. The only thing is the right treatment is going to seem a little strange. Peter needs to golf as often as he has strength and you need to give him all the sex he can handle.' 

Sharon nodded and left. When she got home, Peter was anxious to find out what his test results were. 

'Well Sharon, what did Doctor have to say? 

Sharon looked him straight in the face. 'You’re gonna die.'


Brian Miller said...

haha...he is going to the compromise in that...smiles....and the no peer pressure...thanks for the smiles val

Banker Chick said...

Thanks for your Monday mirth, I laughed a lot this morning

Valerie said...

You're welcome, Brian. I know the feeling about 'no peer pressure' ... grins.

Pat said...

Good ones!

"You're gonna die!" Funny!

Denise said...

Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle. I needed that! Thanks Valerie, I love your Monday Mirth's.

Ron said...

Valerie, that last joke made me HOWL! OMG...that was HILARIOUS!!!

In fact, they were all hilarious!

Thanks for the awesome Monday Mirth, dear lady!

Enjoy your day!

P.S. just got back from Florida a few hours ago :)

Montanagirl said...

Haha...LOVE it! Got my smiles for the day.

Mel said...

*laughing* I LOVE Maxine! I wanna be her when I grow up.......

Uh oh...... I just realized I might be growing up......LOLOLOL

HermanTurnip said...

'You’re gonna die.' cruelly hilarious :-)

Valerie said...

Welcome home, Ron. I'm glad I greeted you with a laugh...grins.

Don't unplug your hub. said...

Thanks for the laugh Valerie. Sorry I'm not commenting much. I'm writing a book you know.