Friends

30 July 2012

Monday Mirth



oOo

Frank is 85 and he has played golf every day since he retired. Then he tells his wife, ‘I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad; once I’ve hit the ball I can’t see where it has gone.’

His wife sympathises and suggests: ‘Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try?’

‘That’s no good,’ Frank says with a sigh, ‘your brother is 92. He can’t help.’

‘He may be 92,’ says the wife ‘but his eyesight is perfect.’

So next day Frank heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing, and squints down the fairway. Turning to his brother-in-law, he asks, ‘Did you see the ball?’

‘Of course I did. I have perfect eyesight.’

‘Where did it go?’ asks Frank.

‘Can’t remember.’

~oOo~



A blonde woman had all the windows in her house replaced with new double-insulated energy-efficient windows. Twelve months later, she gets an irate call from the contractor complaining that the work has been done for a year, and despite repeated bills and collection notices, she has yet to make the first payment.

The blonde replies, "Now, don't try to pull a fast one on me. The salesman who sold me those told me that in one year they would pay for themselves."



~oOo~

A few days ago, while I was having some work done at my local garage, a blonde came in and asked for a "seven-hundred-ten".

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred- ten?'

She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.'

She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to a car just like hers which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?'.

She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.' the mechanic fainted

If you're not sure what a 710 is



Scroll down




















16 comments:

Lea said...

A great laugh! Cheered up my night after a tiring day!

Valerie said...

Hi Lea, good to meet you. I'm so pleased I could give you a smile or two after your tiring day.

Jinksy said...

I don't know which bit I liked best - the 'oil' or the laughing chimp! Thank you for both. :)

Denise said...

Such a funny post, love these Monday Mirths. Thanks Valerie.

Brian Miller said...

oh my....a 710...that is killer....lol....the eyesight one is a ripper too...smiles...happy monday

Banker Chick said...

I liked the brother in law who can't remember. 710 actually sounds like a true funny story.

Akelamalu said...

A 710 LOL

Ron said...

Valerie, everyone of these were HILARIOUS!!!

"The salesman who sold me those told me that in one year they would pay for themselves."

Bwhhahahahahahhaha! That totally CRACKED ME UP!!!

And I loved the last one too! Brilliant ending, dear lady!

Thanks for the great Monday Mirth!

Enjoy your day.......X

Valerie said...

Brian, I agree...lol.

Banker Chick, I can identify with the brother-in-law...lol.

Pearl, everyone likes that one. Pat sent it to me in an email, I just had to share it.

Ron, yes, I liked the double glazing joke as well as the 710.

Ann said...

That was funny Valerie. How we all miss M&W. Loved the 710. LoL

Don't unplug your hub. said...

You made me laugh out loud with that golf joke. Thanks Valerie.

Montanagirl said...

I'm laughing. I can always count on you to make me smile and laugh.

Mel said...

ROFL I'm gonna pull that 710 one on himself JUST cuz I can! LOL

Oh....that's awesome. Thanks for the smiles.

faye said...

love the 710 .. I will have to share that with Bob.

HermanTurnip said...

Great clip!! I wonder what people would think if I went into work wearing that get-up.... Heh...

As always, thanks for the laugh! Your Monday postings really have me looking forward to the beginning of the week...

Jenny Woolf said...

Don't know where you find these Valerie, at least one of your items on Monday mirth usually manages to make me laugh aloud. :D