Monday Mirth

oOo

Frank is 85 and he has played golf every day since he retired. Then he tells his wife, ‘I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad; once I’ve hit the ball I can’t see where it has gone.’

His wife sympathises and suggests: ‘Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try?’

‘That’s no good,’ Frank says with a sigh, ‘your brother is 92. He can’t help.’

‘He may be 92,’ says the wife ‘but his eyesight is perfect.’

So next day Frank heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing, and squints down the fairway. Turning to his brother-in-law, he asks, ‘Did you see the ball?’

‘Of course I did. I have perfect eyesight.’

‘Where did it go?’ asks Frank.

‘Can’t remember.’

~oOo~

A blonde woman had all the windows in her house replaced with new double-insulated energy-efficient windows. Twelve months later, she gets an irate call from the contractor complaining that the work has been done for a year, and despite repeated bills and collection notices, she has yet to make the first payment.

The blonde replies, "Now, don't try to pull a fast one on me. The salesman who sold me those told me that in one year they would pay for themselves."

~oOo~

A few days ago, while I was having some work done at my local garage, a blonde came in and asked for a "seven-hundred-ten".

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred- ten?'

She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.'

She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to a car just like hers which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?'.

She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.' the mechanic fainted

If you're not sure what a 710 is


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