21 January 2013

Monday Mirth

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. 

He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every chunk of it." 

She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?" 

The salesman says, "Why do you ask?" 

She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."

So... this penguin walks into a bar and says to to the barman: "Have you seen my brother?"

And the barman says: "No, what does he look like?"

Two confirmed bachelors were sitting talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it." 

"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asked the second. 

"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish and...'"

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: 

“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”


Akelamalu said...

Love them!

Brian Miller said... the plumber...smiles...the funeral director...smiles...these were fun...happy monday

Mel said...

*chuckling* Why does the last one make me laugh so?

Great start for the week--thank you for that!

Banker Chick said...

Stopping by to catch up and have a laugh. Have a great week.

Ron said...

OMG Valerie, these (as usual) made me HOWL!!!

The one about the funeral director was BEYOND hilarious!!!!!!

And the one about the vacuum cleaner salesman, reminded me of an episode on I Love Lucy, in which the same thing happened!!!

"Face to Facebook"


Thanks for the awesome laughs! I truly enjoy these!

Have a great Monday, dear lady!


Valerie said...

Heehee, Pearl, not half as funny as your post today.... that was HILARIOUS.

Valerie said...

Heehee, Pearl, not half as funny as your post today.... that was HILARIOUS.

Valerie said...

We need a laugh when it's snowing, Brian...smiles.

Valerie said...

Glad you had a giggle, Mel.

Valerie said...

Hope the jokes starting your day off well, Ron. Keep smiling and have a nice day.

faye said...

Thanks Val .. I always look forward to your Monday Mirth .... a smile .. a giggle for a dreary day.

HermanTurnip said...

"Two confirmed bachelors..."

Oh man, I remember those days as a bachelor. And yes, clean dishes were a rarity! Heh.... :-)

Montanagirl said...

Tooo funny. Where DO you find all this funny stuff?

Valerie said...

Hi Herman, Oooh how could you...... grins.