A man walked into the doctors, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places.’
The doctor said, ‘Well, don't go there anymore.’
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. ‘What are you doing,’ she asked.
‘Hunting flies,’ he said.
‘Killed any?’ she asked.
‘Yep,’ he replied, ‘three males and two females!’
Intrigued, she asked how he could tell them apart.
To which he replied, ‘Easy. Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.’
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
By way of a change, let's go back to John Bishop