Friends

11 February 2013

Monday Mirth



A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.

Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role.

'Well,' he replied, 'the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong.'
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars all travelling at the same speed; however, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.

 The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, 'Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?'

'Ever go fishing?' the policeman asked.

'Uhhh, yeah...' the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, 'Ever catch ALL the fish?'

Rossi was the manager of an upscale men’s wear store in a wealthy section of town and was interviewing Abe for the recently advertised salesman role.
Rossi looks at Abe’s resume and notices that Abe has never worked in retail before.
Rossi says to Abe, “What chutzpah, if you don’t mind me saying. For someone with no retail experience, you are certainly asking for a high salary.”
“Well I suppose I am,” Abe replies, “but you must understand that the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing.”




12 comments:

Mel said...

Yup--took me this long to get the Dr. Superman cartoon.
*hanging head*

It's early.....that's my story and I'm sticking to it...

Akelamalu said...

Being blonde I liked the blonde joke. ;)

Alan Burnett said...

Oh I do wish I could remember jokes. But I can also keep having a secret look at your post and then telling some of these to my mates in the pub (without revealing my source, of course)

Brian Miller said...

ha. the before and after pic is funny...and it too me a bit on superman as well...smiles...happy monday valerie

Valerie said...

I believe you, Mel... grins.

Whoops, Pearl... I'll have to be careful... smiles.

Brian, I was okay with the Superman joke.... grins.

Banker Chick said...

The blond joke was a good one...I too shook my head at the Dr Superman...subtle..

CrystalChick said...

Good ones! Great way to start the week, thanks. *smile*

Ron said...

You did again, Valerie!

Great Monday Mirth!

Loved the 'Mummy' one!

And this too....

"The officer grinned and added, 'Ever catch ALL the fish?"

HA! Brilliant answer!!!

Thanks for the fabulous morning giggle, dear lady!

X

faye said...

You had me at the first joke ......
great ones for another Monday.!!

Valerie said...

Hello Mary, thank you so much for reading a few of my posts. I am glad you enjoyed this one, good to smile especially on a Monday.

Hi Ron. Hope the smiles stay with you today. Have a good one.

Montanagirl said...

Oh, I just got here (running late), and got my chuckles for the day!!

HermanTurnip said...

"The officer grinned and added, Ever catch ALL the fish?"

Heh! I guess it's like a game of chicken. The first one to stop gets the ticket. I'll have to remember that. Hehehehe....