10 August 2013

ATM Machines

Borrowed from Oma's blog, for your amusement. 

Does this sound familiar?

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
‘Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research “MALE & FEMALE” procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.’



1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2.  Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)

1.      Drive up to cash machine.
2.      Reverse and back up the required amount  to align car window with the machine.
3.      Set parking brake, put the window down.
4.      Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to  locate card.
5.      Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6.      Attempt to insert card into machine.
7.      Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from  the car.
8.      Insert card.
9.      Re-insert card the right way.
10.  Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11.  Enter PIN.
12.  Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13.  Enter amount of cash required.
14.  Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15.  Retrieve cash and receipt.
16.  Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17.  Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
18.  Re-check makeup.
19.  Drive forward 2 feet.
20.  Reverse back to cash machine.
21.  Retrieve card.
22.  Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23.  Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24.  Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25.  Re-dial person on cell phone.
26.  Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27.  Release Parking Brake.

Are you laughing at this point?
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  1. LOL - I can relate to most of them.

  2. Yes I am laughing Valerie. I might have to share this one.

  3. Carry on, John... it's worthy of a repeat showing.

  4. What a hoot, love this Valerie. Thanks for my early morning chuckle.

  5. only because you are as well...smiles....def funny...not sure i will repeat it to my wife...esp if in line at the bank...ha

  6. I must admit this might be a little close to true.

  7. *chuckling*
    Mostly about the driving off with the hand brake on. Yup--he does that all the time!

  8. This is PRICELESS, Valerie!

    And what's really ironic is that now that I live in a city and use only the walk-up ATM machines, it's true for those as well. In fact, many years ago, I wrote a post about this on my blog. I was standing behind a women who stood there after she got her money and put on LIP LINER and LIP GLOSS - I kid you not!

    Great post! Thanks for the awesome Saturday morning laugh!


  9. I have sometimes felt that women pay more attention to detail than men so I am not surprised it applies to routine tasks lie getting cash out of an ATM. Perhaps that was why man invented the Credit Card so as to help them speed things up.

  10. Geraldine, I am not a bit like that, HONESTLY.

    Brian, T would laugh if you dared to say this was correct... smiles.

    BC, do you REALY think so?

    Mel, you DO make me smile.

    Ron, that is amazing. I didn't think there were women around who did that... grins. Shows how much I know!

  11. Joe, it HAD to be a man who invented the ATM but it was probably a woman who added the final touches ... grins.

  12. Thanks for this smile....
    I used the drive thru ATM
    this morning... 1 - 5 were
    exactly right !!


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